12 months, 12 goals

I have decided to set some goals for myself - 12 things I want to accomplish within a year. If I can knock one off the list each month, I'm doing great. The clock starts this coming Monday, October 1, 2007; I intend to have all 12 done by Wednesday, October 1, 2008. I will revisit the list every month on the 1st and post an update here. This is no meme, I just decided today that I need to get going on some stuff.

1. Take some guitar lessons.

• I don't want to be the next Jimi Hendrix or anything...just want to be able to play a few blues and rock'n'roll tunes.

2. Weight loss plan - goal is 220 lbs. lean mass, 30-40 lbs. fat

• One of the hardest goals on here, but damn it, I'm going to do it. I intend to document my progress on this in each monthly update, so if I'm slacking all my readers (both of you) can call me on it.

3. Go to a Canucks vs. Avalanche game.

• I've been meaning to do this for a long time. This year, the Avs are at Vancouver 4 times: 11/9, 2/9, 2/27, and 4/1. Who's up for a trip to Van and when?

4. Complete at least one short film.

• Got my script. Just have to get off my lazy ass and do this thing.

5. Update my will.

• Haven't updated it since we had it done 5 years ago. Marriage changes some of the particulars, so we need to update it.

6. Start my son's college fund.

• I've been meaning to do this since he was born. Need to do this one ASAP.

7. Design and make a good Steampunk costume for myself.

• I've been thinking about making and selling Steampunk costume and prop stuff as a sideline. Could tie in to #10 below.

8. Fix my motorcycle.

• I need to ride, damn it!

9. Play in a casino poker tournament.

• Maybe I'll be the next Chris Moneymaker. Or maybe I'll get busted out on the first hand. Either way, I want to try.

10. Start a small side business.

• I think everyone should have their own business at least once in their life.

11. Go on at least one decent length road trip.

• It's about the drive, not the destination.

12. Visit either Vegas (could combine with #11!) or Amsterdam.

• Preferably with friends. Got a preference? Gimme a vote for one or the other.

Small (and probably temporary) victory for our rights

It's no secret that I am not a fan of the (un)Patriot Act. So I was overjoyed today to see that a federal judge in Oregon ruled that the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA, that thing Bush ignored by ordering warrantless wiretaps), as amended by the Patriot Act, is unconstitutional and violates the 4th Amendment.

I've been saying for a long time that the Patriot Act pisses all over the Bill of Rights. It's nice to be validated by someone with actual jurisprudence and power. Of course, this ruling will probably get overturned as it gets appealed up the (increasingly neo-con) chain of courts. But for now, I like the feeling of a small victory for our rights.

I am hurty.

Sunday I managed to pull some muscles in my lower back, and have been next to immobile for the last couple days. I'm back to work today, sitting made bearable by muscle relaxants and pain killers. I hate it when my back goes out. It's only happened this bad one other time.

This has inspired me to get back on my weight loss plan. Being this out of shape sucks.

The Institution of Marriage

Whilst surfing about the internet I stumbled on an amusing story, although I find it somewhat suspect and wonder if it's a myth:

A husband is having intimate online discussions with a woman, frequently talking about how horrible his marriage is. The woman commiserates, as she too is in a horrible marriage.
Meanwhile, his wife is having intimate online discussions with a man, frequently talking about how horrible her marriage is. The man commiserates, as he too is in a horrible marriage.

Surprise, surprise - they were really talking to each other without knowing it. And now they're both filing for divorce on the grounds of unfaithfulness.

It is a well-known fact that (even though I am married) I generally frown on the institution of marriage. The biggest reason being that I have seen so many go so badly, either because they were ill-conceived or ill-maintained.

Ill-conceived seems to be the most common culprit. If your boyfriend is a jackass, marrying him isn't going to make him better. If your relationship is falling apart, that's NOT the time to get married. You have to start with a sound, stable relationship if you want a marriage to succeed.

Ill-maintained is the harder one to conquer. It's very easy to slip into this.

A quick aside: some years ago, at a party, a friend asked me something about her relationship (I think). I said, "I'm the last person you should ask for relationship advice." Another friend said, "You should be the best person to ask - you've been with the same woman for 11 years!" (much longer than any of the friends present had been together - and now closing in on 17!).
"Go ahead, ask me how I did that!" I said.
"Ok, how'd you do that?" my friend asked.
"I have no idea!" I exclaimed. "I've bumbled along for 11 years, and somehow it's worked out!"

This is largely true. However, over the years I've had time to analyze what I did do (without knowing what I was doing), and figured out some of what worked, and what didn't. The old saying goes that "communication is the key", but I would say that "constructive communication is the key". It's too easy to argue and complain and call it communication. You have to discuss, negotiate, reason.

I would guess that - if that couple is real - they did none of that. Whining to each other online is probably the most communication they ever did, and that isn't very constructive.

Aside from "constructive communication", some of the few tips I can give anyone in a relationship:

1. Never go to sleep angry. (This is the only good piece of relationship advice I ever got from my father). Always sort out the problem before you go to sleep for the night - even if it means staying up until 5am talking. It's ok to go to bed angry - but the discussion better follow you there, and you better not sleep until it's settled.

2. For a successful relationship, you each have to give up a part of yourselves, but you each have to keep a part of yourselves. The trick is in finding the balance. You have to spend x amount of time together, and y amount of time apart. You have to agree on and like x things, but have different opinions on y things. Figure out how to balance x and y.

3. Come to an agreement on mutual goals. Financial considerations, home (ownership, what type of home, etc.), to some extent career (is one of you willing to work hard while the other goes to school to fulfill their dream of being a gastroenterologist?), kids, anything else that you must achieve together.

4. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than jealousy. You must have trust and a lack of jealousy to succeed. If you don't have that now, figure out a way to get there.

And then there's one thing I aspire to, but haven't attained yet - when asked how he staid happily married for 50+ years, Larry Hagman said simply: "Separate bathrooms."

I dream of that. Oh lord, how I dream of that.

-Mattbear, marriage counselor, out.

And my friends wonder why I don't want to go to Burning Man anymore

It's been a long-standing joke at Burning Man to suggest that someone set The Man ablaze before the sanctioned Burn Night. Well, guess what?

That's The Man burning early. Somebody set him on fire late Monday night/early Tuesday morning. Never fear, Burners, the Burning Man LLC has constructed a new one and put it in the original's place. Honestly, I'm surprised they haven't just built an extra one every year and kept it around just in case. The police arrested the premature igniter, Paul Addis, for arson.

Yes, that's his mugshot (with a little LOLCats-style text added on). Also, reports say Addis hung a pair of silver testicles on The Man back in '97. [nostalgia mode on] That was the first year I attended Burning Man, and I remember a certain someone staggering back into camp, really intoxicated, railing about this travesty and how he spent a good amount of time jumping up and trying to use various instruments to remove said testicles. [nostalgia mode off]

Apparently, some burners have been so upset by the early burning that they left. God save me from such drama queens. Others have hailed Addis' stunt as the ultimate Burning Man prank, and have raised funds to bail him out and pay for his legal defense.

And, in more depressing news, some guy committed suicide at Burning Man. Always, somebody has to be an idiot and do something to get killed or seriously injured and bum everybody out.

Trying to find center

With the wife and kid gone to Ocean Shores, I was free from parental duties last night. I certainly didn't want to stay home, either. I endeavoured to visit from friends, but most were working, not feeling well, unreachable, or busy. So I was at loose ends and had to figure out how to spend my evening without getting bummed out.

Inspired by a thread recently started on the Brass Goggles Steampunk Forum, I decided to head toward Seattle and go to Gasworks Park, one of my favorite places in the city. I stopped at Dick's and got a burger and shake on the way, naturally (one of the many things I love about Seattle: you can say, "I'm craving some Dick's" and still be secure in your heterosexuality). I have been feeling uncentered lately, not myself. Gasworks always reminds me of good times and a younger, crazier me. I figured it was just the thing I needed.

When I reached Gasworks, it was pretty much dark already. I started to park on the uphill side street we used to always park on, but there was a good deal of glass from broken windows that spoke of recent car break-ins. I decided to park on the main street in a well-lit area instead. The park was still open, so I could have parked in the actual lot, but I am conditioned never to do that due to the many late-night visits of the "old days" when I would have gotten a ticket for parking there after the park was closed.

As I strolled into the park, a flood of memories washed over me. It had been awhile since I had been to Gasworks. I love it there. So many good times, so many memories of lazy nights and sunrises. There were a ton of people at the park, mostly teenagers enjoying the last gasp of summer. For awhile, I feared I was the oldest in the park, until I ran across some other adults. It made me feel old anyway.

I walked past the gasworks, admiring their heavy industrial beauty, and climbed up Sundial Hill as I always have. I walked past young couples lieing in the grass making out - each time I would look away out of respect, even though I remember not caring who might see when I did that myself. One of the wonderful things about love is sometimes you can shut out the rest of the world when you're together.

Reaching the top of the hill, I strolled to the back side of it and looked down, seeing in my head the images of myself and my friends rolling down it like a bunch of little kids. People often thought we were high or something, but we were just having fun. After standing there a couple of minutes, I walked across the sundial and sat down to just stare at the city lights for awhile. I still contend it is the best possible view of the city at night.

And I was right...sitting there, I found myself moving just a bit more toward center. Things felt a little more right. I felt at peace while I was there.

Eventually, I decided it was late enough that I ought to get home. I started to walk back to my car. In front of the covered climbing toys sat a group of teenage girls. "Hey! How are you doing?" one asked as I passed.

"Good," I said. "You girls having fun tonight?"

"Yeah!" one said. "Except that these heels are killing me!" She was sitting barefoot next to a pair of red four-inch heels and wearing a short skirt. This made me feel even older.

"They'll do that to ya," I said. "Every day, I'm thankful I'm a guy. Sorry." I shrugged, they laughed. "Have a good night!" I said as I walked away.

"You too!" came the reply, with more giggling, until some other old guy walked past them - "Hey! How are you doing?" they said to him. I just smiled to myself.

Out on the street, as I walked to my truck, a Mini Cooper passed me by, reminding me that my wife was gone and I'd be sleeping alone. I don't do that well. I turn into a whiny wuss when I have to sleep alone. Oh well, I figured it was late and I'd be tired enough to sleep by the time I got home. I was right again...I conked out as soon as I laid down.

Still sucked though. I'm impatient for Friday when I get to see her.

Inspection passed

Well, our buyers have waved inspection, so the last two hurdles to jump are the "Covenants and restrictions", which I'm sure they will be ok with, and financing, which is looking good. We are in the home stretch of selling our house.

Saturday was a tiring day of running around looking at rental houses. We found one we really like and are hoping desperately to get. I just dropped off the application this afternoon. It's a funky house on 5 acres just off the Issaquah-Hobart road. And it has a hot tub!

We have a winner!

Finally got an offer on our house last night. Went and signed the paperwork today to accept the offer. Now just have to jump the hurdles of inspection, appraisal, and closing.

Blog Necromancy

There are a couple of blogs on my lists to the right that were thought to be dead, but seem to have returned from the grave.

First off, there's Billy Ocean, Student Council Treasurer, the collaborative and random effort of wiwille, myself, and some cohorts from work/used to be from work (willtuck, nhak, and zooloo). If you've never checked out the unmitigated awesomeness that is BOSCT, take some time to do so now.

Second, there's Customer Service Hell. A recent post indicates that it is back for now, but will soon be a truly dead blog.

Hooray for raising blogs from the dead! It's as if John Dee himself took an interest in blogging.

My kid is more metal than your kid

So, I have a hookup on my car stereo for my iPod, and that's pretty much what I listen to when I'm driving. My six-year-old would frequently ask to hear certain songs that he knew were on my iPod, but it's really hard to search for a specific song from the stereo's interface. So I created a playlist just for him. No Rafi here; my kid listens to rock'n'roll.

So now pretty much whenever he's in the truck, he asks to listen to his playlist (yes, he uses that terminology, "my playlist"). One day last week, I was bringing him home from daycare and he's in the back rocking out to a song on his playlist (I think it was Radar Gun by the Bottlerockets). After I got out and opened his door, he jumped out and threw the horns. Both hands up above his head, throwin the horns like he was Ozzy Osbourne.

Yep, that's my kid. Couldn't deny it if I tried.

I'm a comic! (strip, that is)

If you've talked to me recently, you probably know of my current fascination with poker. Particularly the current popular favorite variety No-limit Texas Hold 'Em ("the Cadillac of poker"), although I'm finding 7 card stud is a better game. I play pretty much weekly, and have also taken up playing (free) tournaments online.

As with most things I get into, thoughts about poker keep bleeding over into parts of life where they don't belong. So last week, I was getting on an elevator to go the 3rd floor, and pushed the button for such. Friend Taaminara was going to the 2nd floor, so I pushed the button for her. Three other guys got on the elevator, and said they needed 5 and 6. I pushed said buttons. After looking at the buttons for a second, I said, "I must be playing too much poker because all I can think is, I need a four for the straight." This got a chuckle.

I decided to send this little anecdote to the author of +EV, a webcomic I always read that revolves around a small time pro poker player and his obsession with the game. He used the idea and ran the strip today, with a credit to me in his blog. Thanks Bobby!

Of course, I'm not the only one with the poker obsession. The missus is quickly becoming quite the card shark. She too has been playing in the weekly game, and tournaments online. The site we've been playing on (Ultimate Bet) has some Aruba promo tournaments going. Last night, she came in 30th in the free event (out of about 5000), qualifying her for the semi-finals tournament on Saturday. If she places within the top 100 in that event, she gets into the monthly final with a chance to win one of 50 seats for the 2007 Aruba Classic. One can also pay to get into the final tournament, but we aren't playing with money online. So I'm rootin' for her! And, of course, playing in the free tournaments to try to get my own seat as well.

Mattbear's all-in, baby!

Bad news day for space travel

Ok, first off, late last night just before bed I read that an explosion occurred at the Mojave aerospace site of Scaled Composites LLC (makers of the SpaceShipOne that won the Ansari X-Prize), killing two [edit: a third died today] and injuring four others. My heart sank as I read this news. I am a big fan and proponent of private space flight, and I am saddened by the death of these two [now three] contributors and the hurt to the others. I hope this does not set back Scaled Composite's efforts too much, though.

I was also very disappointed with MSNBC (as I so often am) to see that the report was buried by this morning, replaced by the news that NASA has admitted to letting astronauts fly after they'd been drinking. From the article:

"The report said NASA was not equipped to deal adequately with episodes of flying after drinking. 'The medical certification of astronauts for flight duty is not structured to detect such episodes, nor is any medical surveillance program by itself likely to detect them or change the pattern of alcohol use,' it said."

....ummm, I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest: maybe it should. Hello. A little pre-flight breathalizer could solve this problem.

To top that off, NASA also admitted there had been at least one case of hardware sabotage of a part destined for the International Space Station by a contractor that it refused to name.

Of concerts and getting old

So I was chatting on IM with a friend who just attended Ozzfest, and I said it used to be cool but I have no interest in going anymore. Then this followed:

ME: Besides, I've seen Ozzy 6 or 7 times, at least

He says: this was my first time
He says: rocked, still don't have all of my voice back

ME: heh, I know that feeling
ME: Ozzy was the first rock concert I ever went to

He says: really? right on

ME: I still have the tshirt, with a rip in it from the fence I was against

He says: that is awesome. Family Heirloom

ME: that was 19 years ago. I may have to go cry now

He says: You are old.

ME: no doubt about it

He says: practically ancient

ME: thanks, asshole
------------------------

And in weird news:
In Washington DC, an armed robber broke up a dinner party, but then just drank some wine and asked for a hug. Hey kids, can you say "High as a kite"? I knew you could.

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 4: Laurel Canyon

So, when Wiwille posted his "Movie Review" challenge offer, I suggested he review the little-known indie film Laurel Canyon. I also said that once he posted that I would respond with my own review. I'm a little late.

Written and directed by Lisa Cholodenko, director of another great indie film High Art, Laurel Canyon centers on the relationship of a couple of young doctors (played by Kate Beckinsale and Christian Bale) who move out to L.A. for the husband's internship. The couple plans on living in what is supposed to be the vacant home of his record producer mother (played by Frances McDormand). Unfortunately, she is still in the house recording a record with a rock band. Her loose rock'n'roll lifestyle does not jive with her son's rather straightlaced outlook, but proves tempting to the sheltered wife. Add to the mix his sexy co-worker (played by Natasha McElhone) who is tempting to him, and life gets messy.

The foundation of the film is the writing. Many a story has been drawn around relationships and the stupid things that people do to screw them up. This one, however, rang true to me. It's not something everyone can relate to, but having been the conservative, uptight type (I was once, yes) I can relate to Bale's character's conflict with what he views as the irresponsible lifestyle his mother leads. Having also been somewhat sheltered, I can relate to the temptation of Beckinsale's character when she gets close to that other kind of life. Jealousy, temptation, and lack of communication are all relationship factors most of us have experienced, and they are the foundation of the well-written characterization in this story.

The acting is also top-notch. Cholodenko clearly found herself an amazing cast, and must have known how to help them do their job well. Some of the actors, like Bale and Beckinsale, were not nearly as famous then as they are now, so perhaps part of it was luck. Either way, I felt the performances were excellent.

The cinematography was so-so. Nothing fantastic. It's the story and acting that make this movie great.

The biggest criticism I can give this movie is that it delves into experiences that maybe not many viewers can relate to. But if you can look past the face of it and see the truths of relationships that it addresses, you can find something in this film to relate to. Rent it!

Previously on The Inexcusable:

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 3: the Jason Priestley double-feature

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 2: A Shock to the System

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 1: Diggstown

Reverend Mattbear presiding

If you're a long time reader of this blog (and I think all two of you who still read this are) you may recall me complaining that while I am an ordained minister, I have never had the opportunity to perform a wedding ceremony. Well, I've finally been asked to officiate a wedding in November. Yay, me!

It's going to be especially interesting since the union is between one nominally Christian and one nominally Wiccan, and they want to incorporate elements from both traditions. I'm going to have to consult the only Wiccan priest I know.

The Crazies and the Woodwork they come out of

While some may want to discuss real political issues, I'd rather talk about the crazy mofos that inevitably come out when an election is coming. Even if it's a year and a half away. And I'm not even talking about psycho-bitch Hillary.

I can't believe I'm linking to MTV, but they do have a funny blurb on some of the crazier Presidential candidates. I've heard of ol' Sharkey (beware: web site seems designed by 13 year old goth) before, so I was unsurprised to see he is officially running. My favorite? To quote the MTV article:

"Jackson Kirk Grimes — 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on 'Star Trek,' this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government if elected."

Between him and Sharkey, they're really giving pagans some good press.

I'm not quite progressive enough to vote for the vampire (or perhaps he would prefer vampyre), and not quite militant enough to vote for the fascist. But this guy might get my vote:

"Warren Roderick 'Bob, Warren G.' Ashe — 50, ran for president in 2000 and 2004, former U.S. Navy pilot and 'Earth Ground Computer Specialist' in the Army National Guard, president of the Air Force's U.S. Anti Drug Task Force (2000-2007) and president of the Marijuana Legalization Committee."

In any case, it's always nice to see that being sane isn't a prerequisite for running for President. I expect a TomKat ticket come 2012.

Still here

To the two or so people who still read this: Yes, I will be posting more soon. The last few weeks have been very hard on me, despite the fact that I have returned to work - in fact, I'm happiest when I'm at work. How fucked up is that?

Anyway, expect more posts soon.

Dr. Death goes free

After serving eight years of a 10-25 year sentence, Dr. Jack Kevorkian has been released from prison. He has promised not to help anyone kill themselves anymore, and if he does it's a violation of his parole and he goes back to the slammer.

Assisted suicide is a hotly debated thing, although it has cooled off a bit since Kevorkian went to the big house. The whole Terry Schiavo public circus brought up some aspects of the debate again, but that was short lived (pardon the rather tasteless pun).

Me? I know I have a great fear of living as an invalid or slowly circling the drain with cancer or some other wasting disease. As such, I am pretty cool with assisted suicide, and ol' Dr. Jack.

This one time, at Burning Man, I learned some stuff...

So, yesterday, I was using Stumble Upon for the first time in quite awhile (if you've never used Stumble Upon, you're missing out on one of the coolest 'net-surfing experiences evar). I was perusing videos, and got a few very cool science and astronomy ones. This made me start thinking of the last time I went to Burning Man, back in 2004.

I was pretty burnt out (pun intended) on Burning Man by then, what with 2004 being the 8th year in a row that I had attended. I did not have much fun, for various reasons, and vowed I would not be returning (and thus far, I have not). But there was one stand-out, flat out awesome experience I had while there.

Some folks had seen fit to build a dome waaaaay out on the playa to server as a planetarium that they named Bok Globule, and every night they would give presentations using a software package called Digital Universe that was created by Hayden Planetarium. (In theory, one can download it for free from their site here, but it's been giving me a "service temporarily unavailable" error since yesterday). The presentations were given by one Carter Emmart (warning: super-long YouTube video), who is "Director of Astrovisualization" for the Rose Center for Earth and Space.

Now, I had an interest in astronomy when I was a kid, but it really fell to the background as I got older. These presentations way out in the desert were awesome. I saw it one night, and it truly blew me away. It gave you a feeling for how amazingly huge and awesome the universe is. Sometimes, things like that can leave you feeling really insignificant, but this one left me feeling full of hope, with a sense of how important it is for us to care for the one Earth we've been given.

Watching the cool science and astronomy videos via Stumble got me thinking about the planetarium, and I did some Google searching and found the site of a guy named Don Davis who worked on the planetarium. I have always hoped there was some kind of recording or more permanent presentation made by these folks, so I shot Mr. Davis an e-mail to ask him if he knew of one. Mr. Davis was nice enough to respond in a very short time and let me know that unfortunately I was out of luck on that count. I thanked him anyway, and tried to let him know how much the work of their group meant to me.

I wish I could find something I could watch at home that would be as inspiring as that awesome show I saw in the desert, but I've found nothing. I've watched things like the IMAX movie Cosmic Voyage (which was kinda cool), but there isn't anything that matches up in my mind to Bok Globule. I guess my memory will have to do.

Employment looms; selling house seems distant...

Got some good news yesterday in that I will have a job come end of June. Yay me! I have grown weary of being broke.

However, the house has been on the market for a week and a half, and no one has even come look at it. I know in my head that I can't expect it to sell overnight, but I do want it to hurry up. We have an "Open House" tomorrow from 1pm to 4pm, so if you know somebody who wants to buy a house a little bit in the country, direct them here.