Halloween (my first post here)

Halloween

(My first post using Blogger - and it's a long one. Previous write-ups by me can be found here )

Ah, Halloween is over. I love Halloween, always have. I look forward to it more than most kids. I like it more than Christmas. And when Halloween doesn't happen on a weekend, it's a multi-day event, because there are inevitably parties and such on the weekend preceeding. Such was the case this year, and for me Halloween started on Saturday the 29th. The boy told me on Friday that he really missed his cousin who, until this month, used to take care of him while we were at work. So we arranged for him to go over to my sister's on Saturday night. This left Jen and I with some adult time, on the prime party night for Halloween. With no plans, we were off to the races to get costumes and figure out what we were doing.

Jen eventually came out with a witch outfit, and I dressed like a pirate (HARRR!). Granted, I was pretty short on time and energy so my pirate outfit was pretty half-assed (my kilt and boots with a black shirt, eye-patch, "do-rag", and cheap toy sword). We met up with Donna (dressed as a doll), and later Steven (a witch), at The Vogue (Heretofore: The Vague, as Charley likes to refer to it), one of our favorite places on Halloween. I discovered that losing an eye would be much more of a bitch than one might think. In addition to having little depth perception, you can't really see what's on that side of you. As I said at one point, a rabid dog could come running at me from the left to attack me, and I wouldn't know what was going on til it bit me. Navigating a crowded club like that was a nightmare, especially once I was drunk...which given the medications I'm on right now, didn't take very long. I took to flipping my eyepatch up when I had to walk to the bathroom or bar.

The costumes at the Vague were a little less impressive than usual...normally, there are many, many really great costumes, with imagination and hard work. This year, not so many. Time to find a new place, perhaps (note hypocrisy here by referencing above comments about my own half-assed pirate outfit).

Every year there seems to be a popular theme or trend, that appears to happen uncommunicated...you just see a lot of this or that. This year: fairy tale and kids' characters. We saw a Little Bo Peep, a Snow White, a Strawberry Shortcake, numerous Little Red Riding Hoods, and what I think was supposed to be Little Miss Muffett. There was just one problem with this. They made me feel...icky. Strawberry Shortcake should not be tall and stacked. Little Red Riding Hood should not have cleavage. I should not be drawn to check out Little Miss Muffett's ass.

In addition to the sexualized fairy tales, The Vague offered up an abject lesson on classy vs. not classy:

Classy:
As soon as we got in, we headed for the back bar to order up some social lubrication. While waiting in line, I saw a woman in a very tight black leather/or pleather/or PVC outfit. She looked great in said outfit, but I was thinking it was Yet Another Trinity Costume (Heretofore: YATC). This being the Vague, I expected it, as in past Halloweens you could have thrown your costume knife in the air with a 75% chance it would land on a Trinity or Neo, thus instantly proving that a) they're overdone costumes, and b) the motherfuckers definitely don't have "bullet time". In fact, I had already seen one Neo on the way to the back bar. I like The Matrix as much as the next geek (the first one...I like to pretend the sequels don't exist; kinda like "Highlander"), but come on. Get a little original (note hypocrisy again). HOWEVER! A moment later, the woman's beau stepped up and put his hand on her shoulder. He was dressed in an impeccable suit, with flower in lapel, bowler hat, and walking stick. I immediately realized I was completely wrong about her...not YATC, but rather a very well done Emma Peel, replete with an excellent matching John Steed - The Avengers! They immediately became my favorite costumes of the night. Yes, Steed had a walking stick instead of an umbrella, but given the close quarters of the club I actually applaud the substitution.

I was apparently grinning like an idiot at this, because Jen asked me what I was looking at. I pointed out the couple, but they were walking away, and she only got a brief look. I explained my original thoughts about the woman's costume, then my realization, apparently still grinning like an idiot. Jen gave me the smile-laugh-nod that she does when I'm on about something I am clearly excited about, but that she couldn't give a crap about. Later she 'fessed to only having a vague memory of who/what The Avengers were. This is because she did not, in her youth, ingest a steady diet of '60s action-adventure shows like The Avengers, Secret Agent, and The Man from U.N.C.L.E. as I had. If you don't know any of those shows, you suffer a similar problem as Jen, and are something of an uneducated heathen in my eyes.

Later in the evening, Emma Peel bumped into Jen, and when apologizing, mistook her for someone else and started talking to her as if they knew each other, then realized her mistake and apologized again. We also saw them as we were walking out. I stopped Emma Peel to comment on their costumes. "I saw you by the bar earlier, and thought you were in another uninspired Trinity costume," (she starts shaking her head), "but then I saw Mr. Steed here..." ("Yes! You got it!" he says, "Good job" she says) "....and realized my serious error...you guys look great!" Apparently, while this exchange was going on, Donna was asking Jen if we knew these people...from what Jen said, Donna thought I might be chewing out Emma Peel for bumping into Jen earlier. I'm a cranky bastard, but I'm an agreeable drunk, so that wasn't the case.

NOTE: If I hear any mention of that Uma Thurman/Ralph Fiennes/Sean Connery piece of crap that got called "The Avengers", I swear I will issue a beating. Probably with an umbrella, just to make my point.

Not Classy:
At one point, two guys come in whose costumes I could not possibly identify. The first I can only describe as being in a big silver box, with black covering his arms, which he kept holding up. The second guy I only saw from the back, and really couldn't make out what he was at all. Later, I was coming out of the bathroom and saw them. The second guy was clearly dressed as a terrorist when I saw him from the front. I'm all for pushing boundaries and challenging people, so I was ok with a terrorist costume. Part of Halloween is being scary, and terrorists are, when you think about it, fucking scary - hence the name. But I still couldn't figure out what the other guy's costume was all about. I like to think that I couldn't conceive of dressing as what this was.

As I was walking out of the bathroom, the two of them were bugging a couple of guys who were just standing there. All I heard of the conversation was Terrorist asking, "Do you know what he is supposed to be?" while pointing at Silver Box. My brain still hadn't wrapped around what the silver box was, so as the two moved on to bug someone else in the same manner, I approached the two guys left standing there. "So what the fuck is he supposed to be?" I ask. Guy #1 frowns. "The World Trade Center," he says. "The arms are smoke."
"Fuck," I says, "That is not right."
"Yeah," Guy #2 says, "I had the same idea..." ("likely to get your ass kicked in that costume," I interject) "...I guess the difference is I have some class." Well put, Guy #2, well put.

From what Jen says, the WTC guy started getting grief from the Halloween revelers, including the DJ, who said something over the PA like "Nice silver box you got there!"
Terrorist apparently said something like, "He's the World Trade Center," to which the DJ said "Whatever, dude - it's a silver box." Terrorist and WTC didn't stick around long. I think they sensed the oncoming of the ass kicking I had predicted.

Why do I have a problem with the WTC costume, but not the Terrorist? If you had asked me Saturday night, I couldn't have explained - the WTC costume just seemed wrong. Now I think I can articulate:

When you dress up as something scary in costume, you are mocking it, making fun of it. You take away some of its power, some of its effect. This was the whole reason for dressing up on Halloween, psychologically speaking - by dressing up as the things you are afraid of, you lessen or take away their power to frighten you. Terrorists are our enemy, and their real power is fear. You want to take away that power, to whatever degree? Cool. I even applaud your effort. BUT...the Trade Center destruction is not the enemy. It is a horrible tragedy that the enemy created. It should always live on in our memory as another of the many reasons why we must fight terrorism. To mock that, try to take away its power, to make fun of the deaths of thousands of innocents? Not cool. Had I been sober, I might have initiated the ass-kicking myself (unlike most people, I'm far more aggressive and likely to fight when I'm sober).

We hung out at the Vague til last call, then cruised over to the Hurricane as we were quite hungry. It was packed with the post-bar crowd one would expect. While we waited for a table, in walked a woman dressed as O-Ren Ishii from Kill Bill, in the white kimono with katana, and with three guys following her dressed as the Crazy 88s. I loved it. I am a sucker for co-ordinated, team costumes (with the possible exception of terrorist and WTC).

Last year when we hit the bars my costume was Dr. Ablert Hoffman (consisting of a lab coat and a name tag that said "Dr. Albert Hoffman, Sandoz Laboratories" - it's a conceptual costume). At one bar, we ran into an excellent Hunter S. Thompson. The guy had the right hat, the Hawaiian shirt, the cigarette holder, etc. and he was mumbling like Thompson...you'd here him mumble "fucking weasels" and then something incoherent. I walked up to him and said hi. He basically ignored me until one of his friends pointed to my name tag, and he got the joke and joined in. He mumbled at me for a minute and shook hands until I excused myself to go get a drink. Launchpad and I discussed dressing as Thompson (me) and Oscar de LaCosta (LP), his attorney, this Halloween. It didn't come to pass, but maybe sometime we'll do that. I have to lose weight first. Nobody wants a fat Thompson.

At the Hurricane, there were two Hunter S. Thompsons. One came in while we were waiting, and his costume was ok. The other Hunter was so lame Jen had to point out that it was supposed to be Hunter. He had on a plain blue shirt, cargo shorts, and a hat that kind of vaguely resembled the type usually associated with Hunter. The only thing that gave away the costume's point was the shooting glasses. Pretty weak even by my eye-patch and cheap sword standard.

Other than that, the Hurricane was uneventful. Sunday was laid back, hung out with Launchpad and Loxie and watched National Treasure which was better than I expected - but that's not saying much. It wasn't bad, just your average Jerry Bruckheimer movie.

Monday, Halloween proper, was busy. Took the boy to his preschool for their Halloween party, which he enjoyed. When I picked him up, I was in costume. One of his classmates, a girl, walked up to me and said "I'm not afraid of you, pirate," she said. "Oh yeah?" I said, then quickly dropped down and toward her, giving her a good snarling "Harrrr!"
She jumped back and dropped a bag she was carrying, clearly a bit shaken. I smiled and told her I was just playing. She said "I dropped my bag," and picked it up then ran off to her mother. Oh, I'm horrible.

After preschool party, I worked on the decorations for the house, then took the boy to meet up with Launchpad and Loxie and their girl for the trick-or-treat event at work. Fun time had by all. Much candy.

After that, back to our place. The ladies took the kids out for some soaking wet trick-or-treating, while LP and I hung out to give out candy. Had the fog machine set up, made it so you could barely see in the house. We had all of three or four groups of kids, who were all surprised by the smoke and whatnot. Then it was time for dinner, and afterward our guests left so we could all get some sleep before work and stuff this morning.

So, that's it. One very long post about my favorite semi-holiday. Mattbear Out.