Free at last, free at last

The picture you see here is an item we call "The ECS Relic". It was given to our old team manager years ago as a white elephant gift at a Christmas party for the managers. When she left Email Customer Service (ECS), she passed it on to the "Acting" manager, who passed it on to her friend when she (the Acting Manager) left ECS, who then passed it on to me when she in turn left ECS.

I liked having the Relic around because if it wasn't the ECS Relic, then I would be. I have now been on the ECS team longer than anyone, ever. I have watched my teammates get promoted, have their contracts end, quit in disgust, get fired, and have their jobs outsourced from under them. I am still here, nearly seven years later.

Or at least I will be for another hour and a half or so. The picture of the ECS Relic above is of it sitting on Will's cube, for I have duly passed it along to him today, on my last day on this job.

It feels so strange. I have been doing this job so long, I have trouble remembering what it was like to not be doing this job. As I box up my stuff to take home, recycle all my old training papers, and delete all my e-mails, I just feel weird. Odds are I'll be right back here in this same building sooner than you can say "contractor", doing a different job as a temp through Volt. But this is still the end of an era of sorts for me.

Alright...I'm outta here now. MATTBEAR OUT.

What comes around, goes around

There's a news story out this week that exemplifies a little phrase I use sometimes. When a weird coincidence happens, I'll say "God's playing Nintendo with my life."

I don't believe in God, but it's how I feel sometimes when the same people pop up randomly in my life or the same theme keeps cropping up all day. The closest I've come to the weirdness in this news story was when I was in a motorcycle wreck and one of the surgeons who worked to repair my spleen was the doctor who lived across the street from my grandparents. This was not too surprising, though, since it was in the small town of Pendleton, Oregon.

But this news story happened in the not-so-small town of Buffalo, NY...a teenage dishwasher who also happened to be a volunteer fireman performed the Heimlech on a woman choking in the restaurant...who turned out to be a nurse who performed CPR on him and saved his life seven years earlier.

In other weird news, last week a judge in Tacoma ordered her courtroom to cheer "Go Seahawks" before starting a manslaughter trial. Talk about poor judgement (pun very much intended). Somebody that insensitive should be remanded to handling traffic ticket court only.

Mitchell Rupe, the robber/killer too fat to die, finally died. Rupe was supposed to be executed long ago, but weighing 400 pounds he argued that hanging (then Washington's default execution method) would decapitate him, which constituted cruel and unusual punishment. He could have chosen lethal injection, but refused to, thus saving himself from execution. He also had cirrohsis of the liver and hepatitis C that were slowly killing him anyway, and even tried to get a liver transplant to save him from that. Luckily, the state refused to waste a good liver on a murderer. The state changed the primary execution method from hanging to lethal injection just to make sure we didn't wind up with another un-executable fatty sometime down the road.

Politics! I haven't posted anything political here in awhile, so here you go. Rep. John Murtha, already getting good press on the sane side of things for calling for a near immediate withdrawal from Iraq, put another bitch slap on the Bushites by publishing an open letter to Bush with a 4-point plan for withdrawal and rebuilding our security and military. God damn, this is the only person in politics who sounds even half way intelligent to me right now. If the Dems put Wesley Clark up in '08 with Murtha as his VP, I would vote for that ticket in a heartbeat. They put Clinton anywhere on the ticket, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.

Alrighty! Enough for now. Mattbear out.

That Not-new-but-new-to-me Car Smell

There's a couple of things I've been wanting of late...a diesel vehicle in which to run biodiesel, and a truck. Being a homeowner, one often finds need for a truck to haul crap around in. Trips to Home Despot, the dump, whatever.

So Friday I went and bought a big diesel truck, thereby killing two birds with one stone. It's an '82 GMC Suburban, with a 6.2 liter diesel V8. It is HUGE. I've driven bigger vehicles back when I was doing delivery, but I've never owned anything this big. It is a monster.

I always name my vehicles. Generally, they have female names because I always think of my cars as girls. The Saturn is "Caroline", the Volvo is "Ella", and the VW is "Starchild" (you have to give a 1969 VW bus a hippie name, it's like a law or something). But the Suburban is too huge and ugly to be feminine. I don't want to give it a guy name though, so it's just going to have a nickname: Big Dog.

I love driving big vehicles, so I'm pleased as punch with Big Dog. That diesel engine has some guts to it, and there's so much room...even though it doesn't have the third row seat, I could comfortably fit six adults in the seats for a ride, and when we got where we were going those same six adults could comfortably have group sex in the back. It's that roomy.Alrighty...it's past my bedtime. That is all for tonight. Mattbear out.

The only certainty is change

So, I've been making some changes in my life, and have some changes coming up.

First off, getting healthier, especially losing weight: At the beginning of January, I entered into a little contest against my boss and co-worker to see who could shed the most pounds in a month. My reputation for being fat and lazy is doubled or tripled at work, where I am often seen eating McDonald's breakfast and getting stains on my shirt. As such, neither of the other contestants thought I stood a hope in hell of beating them. But oh, I had a surprise for them! Today was the day of reckoning, and I've dropped 14 pounds in the last month - which made me the winner since they lost 9 and 7 pounds respectively. Go me!

Second, my job. Anyone who has known me for long knows my love-hate-but-mostly-hate relationship with my job. Well, that's finally changing. I gave my resignation (with, naturally, 2 weeks notice) today. There is something on the horizon for me, employment-wise, but I have to leave the Evil Empire first. Trust me, this is a good thing. Huzzah! I am Free!

Third, my "bachelor" days (long since only a technicality anyway) are going to disappear. Jen and I will be getting married come March 16, which is the 15th anniversary of us being together. Our intent is to have only a small ceremony with the minimal people present (The good Rev. Charley, and two witnesses). Jen says big party after, though.

Anybody dieing from shock yet? No? Good. Mattbear out.

My biggest weakness as a consumer

So, I guess it's about time I posted about my spending spree of a couple weeks ago. See, I decided I really wanted a video camera so that I could film some stuff and edit it on the computer. I wanted to get the hang of shooting, using a camera, and the editing piece. I asked Jen, and she gave me the go-ahead. Right on!

First I went to Costco, as I recalled them having some video cameras. Unfortunately, they didn't have squat. Mostly they had those burn-direct-to-DVD cameras, which is definitely not what I wanted. So we decided to go to Fry's the next day.

The next day, it was on to Fry's. I looked over their cameras, and decided I wanted the Canon Elura 85. That wasn't the one I really wanted - the one I really wanted was three grand. But I wanted the Canon so I could just kind of get started here. Jen asked if I wanted to apply for a Fry's account, and I said sure. We're used to getting turned down for credit left and right, so we figured at best we'd get an account for a few hundred.

They approved us for over $3k.

This was quite tempting. We looked around for awhile. Jen decided to buy a portable DVD player to use for Chas when we're on long drives and stuff. And we bought a computer desk, as we didn't really have a decent one. We looked at new computers, and Jen drooled over the Media Center PCs, which she has wanted for awhile. But she said we should wait. She's generally the voice of reason in these situations.

Then I saw the Macs they had. I've been wanting a Mac for awhile, specifically for video and audio editing. I've seen the programs for that on both the Mac and Windows, and the ones for Mac are much easier and better. Jen told me no way was I getting a Mac before she got a new computer, and complained about the fact that we hadn't bought a new computer for her in...oh, I think ever...while I had gotten a laptop and a desktop machine. We left, without giving in to the temptation to buy a bunch of stuff and rack up our new account.

But you see, electronics are my biggest weakness as a consumer. I love 'em. Those and cars. I don't like to shop for clothes, or food, or anything...except vehicles and electronics. Those I will go window shopping for just for fun. And I got to thinking, we hadn't bought Jen a new computer in...well, ever...and I was feeling guilty about that. So the next day, while she was at work, I went back to Fry's. I bought a Media Center PC for Jen, and some upgrades to it (it really needed a better video card and more memory). And another desk. And then I walked by the Macs.

Oh, I was tempted. I kept debating, imagining Jen's voice screaming at me about spending so much after she told me to wait. In the end, I gave in. After all, Fry's has a return policy...if she was too pissed off, I could return stuff. I bought myself a Mac Mini, which is very cute and nice, and should run Final Cut Express quite nicely. In fact, I'm writing this on my Mac. I'm kind of a convert now, after years of bitching about them. I still have the PC for gaming, and my Windows laptop, but I use the Mac for browsing and e-mail and stuff like that. And of course, I'll be using it for video and audio editing.

Anyway, I started home with the Volvo loaded down with about two grand worth of Fry's products - the salesmen loved me - and got into Issaquah about the time Jen should be off work. So I called her and asked her if she wanted to go to dinner, and she said sure. I was hoping to get to the restaurant after her, but she pulled in right behind me and clearly saw all the stuff piled up in the back. She got out of the car and the look on her face...oh boy. I started to get the boy out of the car, and when Jen got out I said, "You wouldn't kill me in front of the boy, would you?"
The look on her face said she was thinking about it.

After dinner and a discussion about just how much I spent, she decided it was ok, especially since she got a nice new computer all her own. So now our office is all set up and I have the Mac and the old PC at my desk hooked up with a Keyboard/Monitor/Mouse switch, and Jen sits next to me with her computer. We're happy. I've hardly watched TV since we got the office set up, because I spend that time in here instead. Although I gotsta watch some West Wing tonight.

Mattbear out.

One funny little movie

The other day, Jen was telling me about some this computer-animated movie "Hoodwinked" that was a real indie production - the director guy was like living in a house with the computer animators and stuff, and he got some heavyweight actors (notably, Glenn Close) to do voice work for scale, etc. and then got it distributed by Harvey and Bob Weinstein. I was kinda, "oh, that's cool" about it and then forgot all about it.

So then Friday she says she wants to go to see a movie, and when I ask which one she naturally tells me "Hoodwinked". OK, I says, completely forgetting everything she'd told me about it until halfway through the movie.

Let me tell you, this is one damn funny movie. I enjoyed the hell out of it. I laughed out loud through much of the movie. Chas enjoyed it, but I think that mostly due to the animation and funny voices and sight gags. There were a lot of jokes in it that require a little more age to really get, so like some other computer-animated features of late this one is good for adults too. I heartily recommend it.

Parade of the Freaks

So after reading a news story about a rather freakish person, I decided to post about a few who have made the news of late. First up, today's inspiration:

MSNBC had an article today about Jonathon Sharkey, who declared he is running for governor of Minnesota. What makes this stand out? Sharkey is a self-proclaimed vampire. Sorry, I guess it's "Vampyre" according to Sharkey. He says he wants to execute any terrorist caught in Minnesota by impaling them on a wooden spike in front of the capitol. He claims to represent the "Vampyres, Witches, and Pagans Party". Feeling that being a witch/pagan/whatever and having this guy claim to represent you would be bad, I passed the news along to a Wiccan friend. He already knew about Sharkey, and pointed me to Sharkey's site, particularly the part where he admits to having committed incest (that's near the bottom of that page). Not content to stop there, he also pointed out the conflict of claiming to be a satanist and a "Hecate" witch, that being that pagans who worship/believe in gods/godesses like Hecate don't believe in Satan. On a more mundane note, I'd also like to comment that his page design is horrible, especially the "Dark Side" page. Dear god, I'd need to smoke something mighty strong before I could stand reading that whole thing. Still not as bad as Sungod, though.

Note that Sharkey also states he is going to run for President in 2008. Ho-kay, time to take the meds, buddy.

Continuing with the crazy political candidate theme, Andrew Uitvlugt (what a name) ran for mayor of Kelowna, BC partly on the platform that crack users should be encouraged to get jobs (like trash collection) and be paid in part with crack. Good idea! They'll work, and smoke the crack, and work really hard so they get more crack, then work really hard again to get more crack...You see where I'm going. The big thing to me is, this guy came in fourth in a five-person race. Who the fuck did he beat? There must be an awful lot of crackheads in Kelowna who vote.

And for a local nutcase...back in October, Clayton Butsch from Lake Stevens was convicted of murdering his "friend" because his cat (named Sam, oddly enough) told him to. With friends like these....

Alright, enough crazies for now. Mattbear out.

Books and movies...

So, I've had my "What I'm reading now" and "What I'm looking forward to seeing" features up for awhile, but I never much say anything about them. So here goes, some of the more recent books and movies I've experienced, and what I thought:

Books

The Men Who Stare at Goats: Interesting, if you like a dose of paranoia in your reading, but some of his conclusions and the points he was trying to make don't necessarily add up. Good read, though, if you know anything about MK-ULTRA and want to know what other kind of nonsense our government has been up to.

See No Evil: Damn fine book, well written, by a guy who really comes across as an expert. When the man writes about Middle Eastern terrorist organizations, his knowledge can leave you dizzy, but it's an educational read about a complex subject in a complex time. Best book I've read in awhile.

Jarhead: Compelling, well written. Tries a little too hard to be crude on purpose to show how crude and base he (and by extension, other Marines) is. Still very good, and I really want to see the movie.

Black Sunday: Dear god, this was horrible. I gave it a shot since it was by Thomas Harris, writer of Red Dragon, Silence of the Lambs, and Hannibal. Even Hannibal, the worst of the three "Lecter" novels, outshone this piece of shite by a mile. I don't know why I even read the whole thing. I just kept hoping it would get better. Instead, it just came out like a long Mack Bolan story (I may be the only one reading this that knows about Mack Bolan, but suffice it to say the publisher pumps out a new Mack Bolan book every month).


Movies

The Ice Harvest: This one wasn't quite as good as I expected. It wasn't as plain wrong as Bad Santa, to which it drew a number of comparisons from critics. The plot was a little too standard film noir treachery tale. And there weren't enough scenes with John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton together - if you've seen Pushing Tin, you know they play well off each other (and if you haven't seen it, go rent it). This was made up for in part by many scenes with Cusack and Oliver Platt, who also play very well off each other. Platt is probably my favorite comedy actor, is highly under-rated, and was fantastic in this film. Other than him, it really wasn't too great.

Syriana: One of the two best films I have seen all year. Along with "Good Night, and Good Luck", one of two Oscar grab attempts by Clooney and Sodebergh. I haven't seen Good Night yet, but if it's near as good as Syriana, it's worth it. This one will leave you thinking, and feeling somewhat dirty the next time you put gas in your car. If you own stock in a major oil company, it'll make you want to take a long, hot shower. As well you should.

Munich: I have a hard time deciding if this was better than Syriana or not, but it's damn good. I have to give it more points than Syriana for it's lead - Eric Bana really puts on a show here. Erik has a good commentary on it already.


Enough of my prattling for now. I have actual things to do. Mattbear out.

Post-Christmas Post

I had a good Christmas. You? Good to hear. I got some killer DVDs and books. That's what I dig, so that's cool.

Didn't do nearly as well as the boy, though; he made out like a bandit. After he got a stack of gifts at our house, when we went to my sister's there was a whole 'nother stack of presents for him. The funniest, though, was when he opened the metal Buick Grand National model Nate gave him, that goes with the metal Ford Thunderbird and Jeepster models Nate gave him before. After I got it extricated from the packaging and handed it to him, he said in a low, reverant tone, "I'm going to go crash this into my Thunderbird."

Ya know, I'm actually kind of done with Christmas now, so I'm going to talk about other stuff.

Charley already posted about the Nissan Urge concept car, so I'm not going to say anything directly about that, but I am going to rant about concept cars in general. I often wonder why the major car companies bother? They put these things out as a promotion, to get people interested in their cars and where they claim to be going, and then they just turn out the same old crap. It's a colossal waste of money, and I'm sure contributes to the collapse of the worse-off companies. The few of us who actually get excited about concept cars are car freaks anyway, and the general buying public doesn't give a shit. The general public cares about what they can buy now, the rest of us get mad because we can't buy the cool product you put out as a promotional "concept".

Sure, a few actually get made, but they tend to be the most ridiculous high-priced high-performance models. And the good ones never come about. Where's my Buick Bengal? Over four years ago they said it was going into production. Or how about the Chrysler Jet Car? That was a great idea 40 years ago, and would have changed how cars were made - it was quieter than cylinder driven engines, had reduced friction and easier maintenance, and could run on just about any fuel, without conversion.

So I say to the major car manufacturers: forget the concept cars. Work on the technology, make it happen, quit spending money to build these things up for your little roadshows filled with pipedreams. I'm not going to buy the crud you're making now just because you flash in front of me the thing I want but you'll never make.

Ok. Rant over. Now how about some news?

There's still a convicted Nazi war criminal in the U.S., and he's fighting deportation to the Ukraine. We've been trying to get rid of him since '77. He's 85 now. My theory is, give him the choice...deport to Ukraine, go to the slammer here for war crimes. The fact that he has been roaming free in this country for 30 years after being found out amazes me. Still, our hunting of the Nazis is different and unprecedented in terms of war criminals. Usually, governments only prosecute the big guys, but the Nazis, we've hunted down every camp guard we could find. Not that I'm against that, mind you, but those buggers are getting old and soon there will be none left to hound. What do we do then?

Ouch! Man dies in chipper-shredder. I think Margie from the movie Fargo said it best: "...I guess that was your accomplice in the woodchipper, eh?"

Here, the other day, I was saying I was questioning my belief in capital punishment. But that questioning becomes harder to do when I read that some fundie muslim in Pakistan killed his four daughters because one of them had an affair, and he wanted to preserve his family's honor.

Enough for now. Mattbear out.

Warning: Anger, profanity, bile, and villification ahead

I am fucking filled with rage this morning. Bush has butt-fucked the Bill of Rights again. The New York Times is reporting that Bush himself gave the ok for the NSA to wiretap U.S. citizens suspected of being involved with terrorist activities, without benefit of a warrant.

This enrages me, as it should any American citizen. That fuck swore to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America when he was inaugurated - twice. The Constitution includes the Bill of Rights, which this administration (and Bush personally) have been trampling since September 11, 2001, when Bush family friend bin Laden pretty much wrote him an open ticket to do so. When the 9/11 tragedy happened, while processing what had happened and what it meant for our country, one of my earliest thoughts was "I hope the government doesn't use this as an excuse to override our rights." I wish, I wish, my first thoughts could have included something less cynical, like, "I'm sure our leaders will guide our nation through this difficult time, and pursue those responsible and bring them to justice." But experience has shown me otherwise, and they continue to prove my fears were founded.

9/11 is the roofie Bush slipped the sorority girl that is our Bill of Rights, and he fucked her with the (un)Patriot Act. Bullshit like warrantless wiretaps just show that after the Patriot Act, he flipped her over for some non-consensual backdoor action. And the New York Times? They're the drunk frat brother with the video camera, getting the whole thing on tape. They new about it a year ago, and didn't report on it until now "...because the White House said it could jeopardize continuing investigations..." Hmmm...like maybe the investigation into how Bush could win re-election, maybe? Motherfuckers.
I suggest a new motto for The Times..."All the news the White House says we can print, because we're Big Brother's fucking lapdog."

The excuse the White House uses for this shit? We caught a terrorist because of it. I'm sure the right wing idiots of this world will say we need to keep this country secure, so this is ok because they'll only spy on the terrorists. Right. That's why they've been using your tax money to infiltrate a Quaker peace activist group. Fuck yeah, get those Quakers. They might be the next ones to bomb us. Bush and his merry band of fucknobs aren't going to limit their spying to actual terrorists. They couldn't event they wanted to. History has shown that this kind of abuse of power gets used to fuck with political opposition as much as (if not more than) actually investigate crimes. This new Big Brother bullshit will just go to show more of the same. In J. Edgar Hoover's day it was Martin Luther King Jr., and today it's Quakers. After posting this, I'm pretty sure my phone is going to be tapped too.

I think it is seriously time to call for Bush's impeachment. All the fucking dirtbaggery has to catch up to him, it's time. Fuck. It's enough to make me wish Martin Sheen actually was the President. (No, I'm not dumb enough to believe he really is like his character on the show - the writing is just so good I wish I could believe it)

Goddamnit I am pissed off. I have to stop now before I have a fucking aneurism.

Side note (I hate it when people put P.S. on something they're writing on an editable word processing system): If you've ever watched "Inside the Actor's Studio", you know that at the end the host asks the celebrity five questions, one of which is "What is your favorite curse word?" - after looking over this post, I'm pretty sure there's no denying that mine is definitely FUCK.

- Mattbear out

That's heavy, man

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Always a dangerous thing with me. My thinking has been around heavy topics like the death penalty, national security, politics, child rearing, health, death, and on and on and on. You know what that means? Time to spew some of that out here. Long post; bear with me if you're brave enough.

To bring you to my current thinking, I have to pull out the WayBack Machine. As I'm sure anyone who actually reads this knows, I studied Criminal Justice in college. Most of my teachers were either active law enforcement or retired. We had a retired California Fish and Game guy running the CJ department, a retired FBI guy, a retired DEA guy, some patrol cops, a detective specialized in child abuse, and my favorite, Rick Bart (damn, he's looking old). Back then, Bart was Lieutenant of Detectives for Snohomish County Sheriff's Office. Later, he was elected Sheriff. I am proud to say I voted for him in his first election; he's probably the only Republican I have ever voted for. Apparently next year he is going to run for Snohomish County Executive.

Anyway, before being Lieutenant of Detectives, Bart was a homicide detective. Probably his most famous case was mass murderer Charles Rodman Campbell. After being let out of prison for rape, this dirtbag went to his rape victim's house and killed her (in front of her 8 year old daughter), her daughter, and her neighbor. Ol' Bart used to bring in slide shows to our Homicide Investigation class so we got to look at crime scenes, bodies, all that good stuff. Naturally one day Bart brought in the photos of Campbell's crime scene and related investigation and talked to us about it. When I saw the pictures of the little girl, throat slit ear to ear, I looked at the notes about the investigation. She was just a year younger than I. I felt some righteous anger. Bart himself said that case wounded him more than any other case he investigated, and this is a man who has seen some of the worst. I can't explain how brutal, how hurtful those pictures and the story he told were. Ask me about it if you want sometime - I can recall every ugly photo, every detail Bart gave us.

Campbell was hung by the state of Washington on my 21st birthday. Well, technically, it was the day after my 21st, since it was at 12:10am on the 27th, but I had just come home from being out drinking with "the boys" to celebrate my 21st. Jen, who was not 21, had arranged a girls' night at our place, largely with a number of sort-of hippie chicks recently introduced to us by Charley...they were not pleased when I came cruisin in with the boys at midnight and turned on the news and proposed a toast to the stretching of that bastard Campbell when it was announced at 12:10. They were nice, fairly naive girls, and of course opposed to the death penalty which I felt Campbell so richly deserved.

To this day, I cannot feel bad about Campbell's death. I saw the pictures of the destruction he wrought, and they effected me deeply, at an emotional level no logic can touch. My only regret was that I was not there to see it, or perhaps pull the lever myself, or maybe sodomize him with a red-hot iron just before he dropped.

Why dredge up all this? These days you see a kinder, gentler Mattbear than the one that existed back then, as I have mentioned recently. I've been questioning my long-held, unwaivering stance on capital punishment. There are so many arguments against it. Some say it's applied in a racist manner in this country. It is certainly applied unevenly. It makes no logical sense (it's wrong to kill, you killed someone, so now we're going to kill you). It's definitely not a deterrent - even as a supporter of the death penalty I never tried that weak-ass argument. What's got me thinking most these days is that it's just plain barbaric. Most of the nations who hold on to the death penalty are backward countries with no concept of human rights anyway. We're putting ourselves in the same class as Iran and Syria, for god's sakes. Cambodia banned the death penalty. That's right, the nation that gave us the Khmer Rouge and the Killing Fields has banned the death penalty, but not us. I was proud to be an American when I found out that little fact.

I was already thinking about this a lot when it came into the news that the Governator held the power of life and death over "Tookie" Williams, one of the earliest members of the Crips. Arnold is an actor. I can not see what he has done or said that would indicate he is a wise, reasonable choice to hold the power of life and death over anyone. His decision to deny clemency apparently came as a five page document. I'm pretty sure his lawyers wrote it. If Arnold had done it himself, it would probably have been something like "I had to let him go." (In all fairness, he didn't even write that)
Leading takes wisdom. The Governator is not wise. While I think of myself as intelligent, and wise for my age and education, I do not feel I really am wise enough to hold the power of life and death, except maybe in a kill-or-be-killed self defense type situation. So that brings me to question: in this kind of a case, where death is being considered as a punishment well after the fact, who is wise enough to hold that power? The answer, I am becoming afraid, is "no one". Perhaps we should not use death as a penalty for crime.

Moving on! I'm also pretty concerned with another area where our country is currently displaying some barbarism - torture. Certain asshats in our current government seem to feel that torture is A-OK. I keep thinking, isn't there something our government signed, saying we wouldn't torture people? Some treaty? Didn't we sign it in some foreign place? And wasn't there also something we put together in our own country that kind of said torture was maybe wrong? Maybe I'm just imagining things. But today we made history! The White House agreed to pass Sen. McCain's proposed law banning use of torture! So now we're going to pass a law telling everyone not to violate our own Constitution or the biggest international treaty in history. This reminds me of a joke told by a very dirty comedian:
"I read about a guy who pled not guilty to a charge of fucking a dead cat. What disturbs me most is that we needed a law to tell us it's wrong to fuck a dead cat. And what's this guy's defense, anyway? 'I didn't know the cat was dead, your honor. I wouldn't fuck a dead cat, that's sick!' "

On more personal worries, I am very concerned about health - my health especially, but the health of those I care about too. I have long been careless with my diet, exercise, mental health, and on and on to the point where I am now falling apart. I'm trying to take better care of myself now, and since I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life, that is my number 1 priority. I am at a point where I am afraid. Diabetes. Heart attack. Cancer. All are in my family history, all I am at an elevated risk for due to my lifestyle and being overweight.

After the holidays, I am changing my life, hardcore. Going to drop some pounds, get in better shape, try to take care of myself. I know I've said this before...a million times...but I've never been this frightened before. I can feel it in my bones that if I don't turn things around, I'm not going to be here much longer. And that is scarying the shit out of me.

I know some of you have already gotten yourselves in better condition. Some need to. And some have been fine all along. But if you're not in good shape now, I beg you to join with me and cut that fat, take better care of yourselves, get more exercise. I want my friends around for the long haul, and I want to be there for them too.

Alrighty. Enough with the serious shit for now. Mattbear out.

We bad, We bad

In case you missed it, comedian Richard Pryor died of a heart attack yesterday at the age of 65. He was a damn funny man. I remember him mostly from the films of my youth like "The Toy", "Superman 3", and "Brewster's Millions". And while most people don't remember "See no Evil, Hear no Evil", I do - primarily because it featured Joan Severance, who at that time was on my Top Five (see below). There was a scene where Joan is sticking her hand in Pryor's pants pocket, looking for some piece of evidence she needs, and he says "I don't know what you're looking for, but it's a little to the left." I still say that when someone sticks their hands in my pants pockets.

Ah well, everybody has to go, and after 20 years battling MS, it was finally Richard's turn. But damnit, he put Nate in the lead in the Dead Pool. If you haven't heard some conversation about the Dead Pool (not likely) I organize one every year with my friends - everybody submits 25 names of celebrities, and if one of the people on your list goes, you get a certain number of points. To calculate the score, you take their age and subtract it from 100. Ergo, Pryor was worth 35 points, a pretty good score really. The race had been pretty close between me, Harris, and Nate, with me having a slight lead. But Pryor catapults Nate to a score of over 100 points, and puts him in the lead. We don't play for money or anything, the winner just gets the title of "Harbinger of Death" for a year - and this year I am planning on making a little "trophy" for the Harbinger. Nate was this year's Harbinger, and with only a few weeks to go he's shaping up to be next year's too.

Incidentally, if you would like to compete to be the next Harbinger of Death, you need to have 25 famous names to me by January 1st. No slackers this year, I'm not giving any leeway. This means current competitors too.

"...I was so upset about getting chewed out by Bill Cosby that I called up Richard Pryor.
'Richard,' I said, 'Bill Cosby just called me up and chewed me out for being too dirty on stage!'
He said, 'What? When you say what you say, do the people laugh?'
'Yeah!'
'And do you get paid?'
'Yeah!'
'Then you call that Jello-puddin eatin mutherfucka back, and tell him I said to have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up!' "
- Eddie Murphy, from "Raw"

On to something else that doesn't involve people dieing. I mention above my old Top Five. I always have a Top Five, the five famous women I think are the hottest. I think every guy kinda has that, at least in some vague way, and I think most women have their own kind of Top Five too. The Top Five changes as new young hotties come on the Hollywood scene, and old lusts die out. Past Fivers for me have included the above-mentioned Joan Severance, Alicia Silverstone, and Sharon Stone (who gets a Lifetime Achievement Award honoring her with a permanent honorary Top Fiver slot - if for Basic Instinct alone). My current Top Five:

1. Salma Hayek
2. Charlize Theron
3. Kiera Knightly
4. Kate Beckinsale
5. Jessica Alba

So what's your Top Five? You know you have one, you pig....

Morning!

First off, just want to point out a couple of friends whom I have lured away from (why don't you go cry about it on) Livejournal to the much more sophisticated and erudite Blogger.
"Further Ramblings of a Zen DJ" is Launchpad's blog. It really is ramblings, but hey, it's worth looking at now and again, especially for the confusing posts about quantum physics. It will hurt your head sometimes; you have been warned.
With a much more clever name than my blog, there's also "My Meme can beat up your Meme", Charley's new blog. Not much there now, but maybe soon...

On an unrelated note, I just wanted to make sure every one knows that The Internet is for Porn (needs sound, safe for work if you have headphones on). This message brought to you by Harris.

"I want to start an ISP, and its motto will be: Welcome to the Internet, here's your porn."
-Jeff Harris

Life is good

I wish I could say it was a lazy Saturday, but I had to work today. Ah well, I got a lot done. Once work was wrapped up I took the boy and the dog for a walk to the park where we played snowball fight again for a bit. Now I'm sitting here, fire going, dog at my feet, Christmas lights lit up. It's nice. Sure, I have things to worry about, things that are weighing on my mind, but right now I'm taking a break from worrying. A union-sized break. And with each sip of my fresh, hot apple cider (with a dash of cinnamon), I just think: Life is good.

This daily affirmation brought to you by a middle class white male. Privilege is good too.
-Mattbear out

Mellowing in my old age

Yes, yes, I'm getting old, and I'm mellowing out. I'm often accused of hating everything, or at least hating a lot of stuff. I disagree...I don't hate more things, I'm just more vocal about what I do hate, so everyone notices it more. But alas, some of my old hatreds are cooling into dislike, or worse, liking.

Take for instance, snow. I've hated snow for a long time. You spend three plus years earning your living driving, sometimes putting 250 miles or more behind the wheel each day, and see how you feel when it snows. But now I have a 4 year old and a malamute at home. They both love the snow, and it can't help but be a little contagious.

Yesterday, it started snowing when I was at work. I was less than pleased. It wasn't sticking, so I wasn't too unhappy. Then I left to go pick up the boy, and when I got out by Fall City, the snow was coming down harder...and it was staying. I called Jen when I got to Duvall.
"It's mighty white out here," I said. I wasn't just referring to the ethnic make-up of our 'hood (which, by the way, is indeed mighty white).
"Ok," she says, "I was going to leave in about a half hour anyway".

Got the boy, went home. He immediately said he wanted to "play snowball fight!" Oh great. I went in and got the dog. She got outside and went nuts. Dancing around, jumping, running in circles. She did not want to be on the leash. At one point, she was running around me and the leash wrapped around the boy. He spun about a quarter circle around me before the leash pulled his legs out from under him, flipping him up so he was horizontal in the air...then he dropped, flat, face-first, into the snow. He got up and cried for a minute, but it was more just shock then anything; he wasn't hurt. He threw a snowball at the dog, and then everything was fine and the snowball fight was under way.

I decided it was time to let Chase off the leash, whether she would run off or not. She'd be back, and nobody would get hurt by Crazy Dog On Leash. Sure enough, she took off. Then the boy and I started hurling snowballs. Few things make you feel simultaneously good and bad about yourself than having a snowball fight with a four year old. After a few minutes, I called Jen. "On your way home, can you buy me some gloves? Your son is insisting on having a snowball fight and my hands are freezing."
"Is there enough snow to have a snowball fight?" she asked.
"Uh...yeah...we've been throwing them for 15 minutes now."
"Right. In that case, I'm leaving work now."
She hadn't understood that it was snowing way more at our place than in Issaquah. She also told me where I could find gloves in the house. Snowball fight continued until we heard the girl next door come outside with her mom, and went over to see what they were doing. The kids played, parents talked, until the dog finally decided to come back and we wanted to the take the kids inside. Brought the boy home and felt good about having fun in the snow.
----
Another thing I've long hated is the military. Not so much the guys on the ground, but the institution and the generals who run it. But given the way some military leaders are standing up to the Bush administration and saying they're wrong, I have to feel a bit more like they're on our side and not puppets of the government quite as much as I'd always thought. General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, disagreed with Donald Rumsfeld during a recent joint press conference. Basically, Rumsfeld was saying that it wasn't our job to stop the Iraqi military and police that we are training from torturing people (or killing them with death squads, but that wasn't quite brought out). Good ol' Pace, a Marine since his infantry days in the 'Nam, smacked him down and straight out said our military had a responsibility to stop it if they witnessed it. I like this guy.
----------
And, for just amusement...

A face transplant has been successfully done. Can a Travolta/Cage switcheroo be long behind?

And supposedly in my own state, yet another person claims to have captured a picture of Sasquatch.

- Mattbear out

An Ode to Boots

It's a fairly well known fact that I love boots. Both on me and on others (I'm not a fetishist or anything...really...I just like boots). I currently have two pairs of boots, my Brahma brand workboots and my beloved Doc Martens. Or at least, I did.

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up with a horrible pain in my right foot. My first instinct was that my gout was actin' up again. But after limping around all day, I didn't think it was gout. It was in my heel, not a joint, my foot wasn't swollen, and it just didn't feel like gout. It took over a week for the pain to go away, and in the meantime I was limping around everywhere in agony - I even needed my cane for a couple of days. Once it cleared up, I thought little of it.

Yesterday, I wore my Docs. After a couple of hours, my right foot started hurting. I thought back: had I worn my Docs the day the Pain Train pulled into Footsville? Or perhaps the day before? Yes, I believe I did. Sure enough, I woke up today to shooting pain in my heel. Hopefully, it won't progress to limping or needing my cane. Whether it does or not, it's clear the Docs have worn down and are putting my feet in a horrible position when I walk, and it's time to retire them. I could probably get them repaired at considerable expense, but it just isn't worth it. I've gotten plenty of use out of them - I remember the boy was just learning to walk when we went to the store in Portland to get them.

So it is goodbye to my second pair of Docs. The first pair, given to me by a friend who bought them and then found he couldn't wear them, converted me to Docs for life. I had disliked them (putting them down as wannabe combat boots) until I wore my first pair. So comfortable, so durable - and that case, so psychedelic. They were crazy multi-colored boots that always got me comments and questions wherever I went. Typically, "Did you paint them that way?" and "Do they change color?" (they looked kind of like Hypercolor products, but with more colors). I wish I had a picture of those bad boys, they were unique and very cool.

Or almost unique. When I first started working at my current place of employ, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my training classmates, who loved my crazy boots. Suddenly one of them said, "Matt! There's a guy over there with your boots!" and pointed. I look over, and sure enough, here's this giant (like 6'5") guy with the same kind of Docs I had. I walked right up to him, toe-to-toe, gave him a stern look and said, "We have to talk about your boots. This place isn't big enough for the both of us." Luckily, he had a good sense of humor and we joked and talked about boots and stuff for a good 10 minutes. We often talked about many mutual interests (Docs, Harleys, etc.) afterward.

My current (or now former) Docs still get me the "Did you paint them that way?" question since they are black with white barbed wire markings on them. I will replace them as soon as I can afford to...Docs are so worth it. Unfortunately, looking at DM's website, the ones I really, really want don't come in my size (UK11). So I'll have to settle for the ones I just really want. Or maybe just the ones I want.

If you've read this far, thank you for putting up with my pointless musings on footwear. Mattbear out.

Randomness

Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead was invited to speak to the Welsh Assembly recently about the dangers of heroin. Lemmy spoke out about the drug, saying it was the only drug he'd ever seen kill anyone. Lemmy's suggestion was that it be legalised so users could be taken out of the grip of dealers and treated. This is a reasonable argument, really; even coming from a drug-addled speed metal singer. Some felt this was ridiculous due to Lemmy's prodigious drug use. I say if somebody has snorted, smoked, popped, and drank that much and lived to be 60 (and still rockin', mind you) and they say "Stay away from that shit, it'll kill ya," I'm fucking listening to them.

"Who would win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?"
"....Lemmy?"
"Wrong, dickhead, trick question! Lemmy is God!"
- Airheads

Tired of links? I like to overwhelm with information. Let's move on.

In other news, there are allegations that Bush wanted to bomb al-Jazeera headquarters in Qatar, but Tony Blair talked him out of it. Qatar happens to be one of the few allies we have left in that part of the world, and our leader apparently wanted to blow shit up in their territory. Even as anti-Bush as I am, I question the veracity of this claim - but we shall see what real evidence comes out. I'm not a big fan of al-Jazeera or Qatar for that matter. The al-Jazeera network is to Islamic radicals what the Fox network is to neo-con Big Brotherism. Qatar is to human rights what my appetite is to a medium rare ribeye (although they are still better than the Saudis, who are to human rights what Al Sharpton is to credibility). But the U.S. doesn't need to piss off one of our allied nations at a time when even Europe is pissed at us. Not to mention they're civilians. I'm pretty sure that would be considered a "war crime" regardless of how "quaint" our beloved Attorney General thinks the Geneva Convention is.

Tired of insulting similes? I like to overwhelm with witty attempts at humor. Let's move on.

I've never been a fan of Jimmy Carter - always considered him a wussy President. But after a recent interview on Leno in which he delivered a verbal bitch slap to the current administration, I might have to re-think my poor opinion of him. He actually sounded intelligent, and not like some folksy cracker who happened to get elected.

Tired of political stuff from me? Too bad. I'm obsessed with it these days. But for now, I'm done. Mattbear out.

Features! and stuff.

So my little "blog" here will now include what I like to refer to as features. If look to the right at the section marked "Links", above the gratuitous links to friend's blogs and goofy sites I like, there is now "What I'm reading right now" and "What I'm looking forward to seeing". The reading, fairly self explanatory. The "What I'm looking forward to seeing" is what upcoming movie I most want to get out and see or catch on DVD, and more often than not it will be something you haven't heard of unless you're Erik.

I will probably mention in posts when these get updated and whatnot, but failing that you can just hit the link to see if there's something that interests you. I have been accused on more than one occasion of being a bit on the OCD side, so it's fair to say that I'll keep those up-to-date. Probably at the expense of more important things that I ought to spend time on, like doing laundry or paying bills. That's how I roll.

Now, to say that I am reading "The Men Who Stare at Goats" right now is perhaps a little inaccurate, as I have already finished it; but I have not yet gotten another book. I do recommend this book to anyone who likes conspiracy theories, true espionage tales, and general weirdness. If you know what the terms "MK-ULTRA" and/or "Majestic 12" mean, you'll like this book. Once Jen is finished with it (and with the way she reads, that'll be tomorrow) I'd be happy to loan it out.

On to a few links and stuff:

Penn Jillette, great thinker and magician, explains on NPR why he believes there is no god and why that doesn't make him a bad person. I agree, Penn.

Veil: The view from the inside is a collection of articles written by Muslim women defending the "hijab" (veil) and Islam's treatment of women. I'm not against Islam any more than I am any other organized religion; but traditional Muslim roles do oppress women, and these women who defend that are way off base in some of their writings. One compares the hijab to a nun's habit, and wonders why "... people say nothing about the veil of the Catholic nun but criticize vehemently the veil of a Muslimah, regarding it as a symbol of` 'terrorism' and 'oppression.' " My first thought is, because nowhere in Catholicism can a nun be beaten with a stick if she's not wearing her habit. But maybe that's just me. (Not that the Catholic church doesn't do a bit to put down the fairer sex. What's the highest rank a woman can hold in the Catholic church? Nun. If that's not funny, say it out loud. You'll get it.)

If you're bored, check out Predator - A Shaman's View, a great attempt to frame the Arnie classic as a religious experience. Almost as good as Bowling for Buddha, but that benefits from being about a better movie.

Musical Relevance

This morning, on the way to work, I heard a relatively new Nine Inch Nails song. Now, I like NIN, have ever since I heard "Closer", but I was not impressed by this song (I have no idea what the title is). I mean, it's typical NIN, so it's not bad...got the rythm and feel and all, but I was just...meh.

I listened to the lyrics, and realized why I was unimpressed. You see, Trent Reznor is old (40). And I'm old. But Trent is still singing teen angst. This song has lyrics (something) like "Sick of trying to fit in/You know how that feels/It doesn't matter, doesn't matter anymore". Gee, thanks Trent. At 32, I got over that shit and became comfortable with who I am nearly a decade ago. I think most of NIN's fans now are the same people who were NIN fans when Downward Spiral came out....I just don't believe NIN draws a lot of water with the teens nowadays. We got on a train called adulthood, Trent; why don't you come with us?

Part of maintaining your relevance in the music industry, if you were influential in the first place, is re-inventing yourself and your art every so often. Trent has close ties to David Bowie, who is perhaps one of the models of re-invention. When Bowie started trying to be more Trent-like around '95, he had already re-invented himself dozens of times, artistically speaking. While not a big fan of Bowie's music, I do recognize his talent and have a lot of respect for him, partially because of his attempts to change himself and his art. Personally, I enjoyed the Tin Machine phase, a band few people other than myself and Tali remember.

Now, I'm not saying every music artist has to do this re-invention. AC/DC has cruised along playing blues-based hard rock for 30 years now, and while I wish they would retire, they certainly shouldn't bust out with a rap album or something. They were and always will be a one trick pony. But when the key to your early success is teen-angsty lyrics, you either have to a) change the theme of your music over time or b) get new angsty teens as your fan base.

No idea why I wrote this up...just something I was thinking about. Anyway, Mattbear out. :)

The Vandenbrink Carver

The Vandenbrink Carver One.

Holy shit, I want one of these so bad I can taste it. Tragically, they are horribly expensive and only available in Europe. That's it, I'm fucking moving to the Netherlands. The best cappucinno I've ever had, six foot tall blondes, legal pot, and three-wheeled high tech vehicles. I'm so gone.