Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Lighthouses!



One of the many things I am an absolute geek for is lighthouses. I love lighthouses. Maybe it's because I grew up in a town with a lighthouse (the one pictured above, in fact). I don't know. I just love 'em.

So I loved it when I found a guide to over 9000 lighthouses worldwide. I could spend days just perusing that site for geeky little facts about lighthouses around the world and the size of their fresnel lenses. (I also love fresnel lenses. I have one sitting around my house to play with, that I took out of an old big screen TV that went TU on us)

Hope you can appreciate lighthouses too. Look up your favorites!

- Mattbear out

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Dream; or, Why is Ted Danson mad at me?


So Wiwille posted a strange dream he had, and I commented about the rash of weird dreams I have been getting lately. I left a cryptic mention of one in the form of the line "...but why was Ted Danson mad at me?" and now Wiwille says I should post the dream. I wasn't going to, but who am I to argue with one-fourth of my blog's audience? So, here you go - brace yourself, it's a long one:

The dream started out with me in a poker game. Not unusual. Except that the poker game was backstage of some weird play that was going on. The play featured circus sideshow people like midgets and a bearded lady and such, as well as more "normal" actors. As a result, I was very distracted and not playing well. Plus I was hitting on the (non-bearded, non-midget) actresses, and getting shot down left and right.

The play was not going well. It got to the point that the audience was booing, then yelling, then rioting. All the cast members came flooding backstage and trying to run out. I ran out with them.

I got in my truck and drove off. I went to get on the on-ramp for the freeway, only to find they had introduced right then a new anti-congestion process: to get on the on-ramp, one was supposed to pull over into a parking lot (that was on the on-ramp) and park, go get a ticket, get back in your car, and proceed to the on-ramp. However, there was no one taking the tickets and no barrier to entering the freeway.

Regardless, I parked and went to get a ticket - only to discover that they were all out. I walked over to the little booth on the on-ramp to confront the two guys inside. I asked what I was supposed to do since there were no tickets.

Guy #1 says, "Sorry, we're all out of tickets. There were way more people than we planned trying to get on the on-ramp, and now we're out. Nothing we can do."

I says, "Isn't there something we can work out?"

Guy #1 says, "Do you work for Microsoft?"
"Yes, I do," I replied.

Guy #1 turns to Guy #2 and says, "Don't we have a deal worked out with Microsoft?"

Guy #2 responds, "Yeah, but that's only when they're going to work, and it's Sunday. Besides, we're out of tickets. Nothing we can do."

I walk back to my truck, all pissed off. I decide that since neither of these flunkies is taking tickets, or even watching, I'll just get on the on-ramp. Sure enough, they don't stop me. But traffic is so bad I'm not going anywhere - for a long time, obviously. (If you've seen the Doctor Who episode "Gridlock", I got the feeling it was going to be like that)

So, I turn my truck around and drive the wrong way down the on-ramp, which is no big deal because everybody else is too. I decide to head to my friends' (Launchpad and Loxie's) place, which in the dream is very close to the on-ramp (Note: the apartment in the dream was not their actual apartment). My wife is there for some reason, which makes me happy, until she tells me that they were all about to leave. I am still pissed about the on-ramp, so I stay behind, and start goofing around on Launchpad's computer.

After awhile, there's a major earthquake, which somehow was caused by something I did using LP's computer. The earthquake sets off the fire supression sprinklers in their building, and somehow water gets into their electrical panel and shorts out all power to the apartment.

Feeling horribly guilty about causing the earthquake and messing up their place, I head to see the maintenance dudes for the apartment complex. The dude tells me they are too busy dealing with burst water mains and such, and they'll get to the electrical panel later. In the meantime, he says he can give me some propane to hook up so they will at least have heat (in the dream this makes perfect sense that I can just hook up the propane in the apartment and it will work).

Maintenance dude comes out with a big tall old propane tank on a dolly. The tank is rusty and dented and scary, but I figure they need heat, so I take it.

As I get near the apartment, I have to go down a small flight of stairs with the dolly. Being clumsy, I drop the tank off the dolly and it goes bouncing down the stairs. Amazing, it does not explode, but it does make a hell of a racket and a bunch of their neighbors poke their heads out to see what is going on. I get the tank back on the dolly, apologizing to all the neighbors as I do, and wheel it towards the apartment.

Their direct next-door-neighbor was still out, and asks me, "Why does their apartment use gas? My apartment doesn't use gas." I explain about the electrical panel. "Oh," he says, and goes back inside. I notice that somewhere between dropping the tank and talking to the neighbor, I now also have a horse I'm bringing to the apartment with me.

I am puzzled by the horse, but soon distracted because the neighbor on the other side of them comes out in his bathrobe to get his newspaper - and it's Ted Danson. And he's glowering at me and all pissed off. And then he goes back inside. And I'm standing there wondering why Ted Danson is mad at me - is it the noise from dropping the tank? The horse? Does he know I caused the earthquake?

Then I think maybe he's just still mad about losing the lawsuit in that show Damages.

Anyway, I decide to go in. But the door is locked. Their roommate Amber is home. So I knock on the door, but she doesn't hear me. Somehow, the sprinkler damaged the lock, and someone turned it inside out, so the flip part for the lock is on the outside. I turn the lock, open the door, and go in.

Amber comes out to see who is coming in the apartment. She sees it's just me, and then says, "Is that a cow?"

I say, "No, it's a horse. It's just for keeping the grass down."

I lead the horse to a sliding glass door and out to their patio, where there is grass for it to graze on. Then I turn around and see that there is indeed now a cow in the apartment.

I start scratching my head, wondering what the cow is for.

That's when Jen woke me up. And for two days I kept wondering, "Why was Ted Danson mad at me? And what was the cow for?"

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Am I Evil?


I am generally a nice guy. I try to act like a gentleman, holding doors for people and such. I let people go in front of me at the grocery store if they have only a few items or have an impatient kid.

But every now and again, I get the worst kind of compulsions to do really cruel things. If someone cuts me off in traffic or doesn't use a turn signal, I have to remind myself that I could go to prison if I speed up and ram them off the road.

Today there are window washers at our buildings. As I went into the cafeteria to get lunch, they were three floors up, and the ropes from their rigs hung to the ground. I had to consciously restrain myself from grabbing one of the ropes and running back and forth as fast as I could.

I know everybody gets these horrible thoughts or urges once in awhile. What I find myself wondering is, does everyone get them as strongly as I do? To the point that they have to stop and think to themselves, "No, I mustn't do that, it's wrong"?

And what makes us think like that, anyway?

They could have just given me that money...

Sometimes, it's embarassing to work for Microsoft. From time to time, the funny videos they do for the company meeting or for internal consumption get leaked, and to an outsider they often look dumb. The "inside joke" can be lost on the general public.

And then there are videos that marketing does, that just make us all wonder how out of touch these people are. Like the one below. I take no responsibility for the damage this may do to your brain.


Friday, April 11, 2008

The Demon Politics; or, Am I too cynical to have hope?

You can thank Memophage for the political post/rant/wall-of-text that is about to ensue. Memophage posted (after 9 months of Silent Blog Syndrome) a video of a poem about Barack Obama. The poet expresses mock resentment of Obama for making him want to believe, to have hope, and to care.

It is a feeling to which I can relate. For many years, I have been more cynical about our government than just about anyone who doesn't live in a "compound" with more firearms than a military base. I have stated time and time again that politicians are all 100% corrupt, owned by corporations and special interests, and in politics only out of greed and/or power-hunger. They are wealthy and powerful, and their only interest is in staying wealthy and powerful. They collude, across the so-called "party lines", to keep themselves wealthy and powerful. The two party system, gerrymandering, the electoral college, campaign finance and spending rules, lobbyists - all designed to keep the ruling class ruling. The common citizen is not represented in this government, no matter how many times you read the "We the people" line.

There is no difference between the parties. They posture at being different to distract us from where we really stand in this government - under the thumbs of those we "elect". There is no fair play, no representation. There isn't even a "lesser evil" to vote for. Just two greedy bastards who'd sell there own mother to pick up an extra district's votes. In 2004, who did we get for our Presidential candidates? Two wealthy white New Englanders who went to Yale and were in the Skull and Bones. Show me the difference, aside from the pretend Texas accent one of them uses.

Some people I have said these things to nod agreement, and tell me how horrible it is that the vision of the "Founding Fathers" has been trampled so. And that's where I get even more cynical. The "Founding Fathers" weren't the noble guys our history books claimed. They wrote flowery speech to outline a terrific system, empowering the people and making sure the people got fair representation. But they put in loopholes to keep their flowery speech from being the true law. They were the wealthy and the powerful, and they wanted to make sure they stayed that way. The present state of our government is only so ugly because the wealthy and powerful have perfected the loopholes their predecessors put in place.

And they have done so to the point that they no longer need to even pretend they are serving the people or the country. That is why the Bush administration seems so horrific - they flaunt the fact that we, the people, are powerless. They openly defy the law and the will of the people, and nothing happens because the only people who can stop them are other politicians - corrupt, self-serving politicians who are in on the game.

I'm not putting forth a conspiracy theory here. I'm not saying they all sit around together and plot every move. Implicit collusion isn't necessary. They all understand what they have to do to keep themselves where they are. They all act in their own best interest, and since they are really all part of the same class their best interests are all the same.

So what does all this have to do with a "poetry slam" performance about Barack Obama?

In the midst of the darkest hour of my political cynicism - seeing the Bush administration get away with nearly 8 years of criminal behavior - along comes a Presidential candidate who seems to care. Who seems to make sense. Who seems to not be corrupt. I mean, here's a guy whose opponent for his own party's nomination is basically (legal disclaimer: in my opinion) a known criminal who escaped prosecution through abuse of power, but the worst they can dig up on Obama is that his Reverend said some controversial things or that Obama didn't put his hand over his heart for the national anthem once.

He delivers a positive message. He says he wants to make things better. He wants to fight the corruption. He wants to end the unjust war we're in. He wants our country to be better.

After years and years of abject cynicism, how can I trust this guy? How can I trust a politician? He is a member of the same class, he is in on the game. Yet he seems different. He seems genuine.

He seems like a dream. One that's too good to be real.

As I believe I've mentioned before, I like to be the guy who knows. I like to be the guy who's right. I love saying "I told you so." So how can I get behind this guy and say, "He's our best hope, he's worth it, we should trust him"?

But at this point, I have to. I have to believe that we have some hope. That not all politicians are worthless scum. That at least one of them wants what is best for this country, for its people.

That's what pisses me off about Obama. That, and that he might not win and we'll be stuck with another corrupt dirtbag.

- Mattbear out

Monday, March 31, 2008

Movie Review, by request - The Young Poisoner's Handbook

As requested by Wiwille, I watched the film The Young Poisoner's Handbook, an interesting film based on the true story of Graham Young, a young man who poisoned several people he knew, killing three.

The film was the first feature-length work of its director (Benjamin Ross), and it shows a bit. The film moves very quickly through some parts (the first murder in particular) and drags a bit elsewhere.If you don't enjoy slow movies, steer clear of this one. The film also shows some tendencies of not knowing what it wants to be. Part serial killer film, part true crime story, part black comedy - it works out ok but does lack cohesiveness.

The cinematography is also a rookie effort. Some scenes are shot so dark it's almost impossible to see what is going on. However, it's not all bad. By design or accident, the backgrounds in this film tend to be quite bland, which actually puts more focus on the actors. Given how character-driven the film is, this turns the bland backgrounds into a good thing.

Hugh O'Connor as Graham Young did a decent job. He plays Graham as a true psychopath; emotionally flat and distant and unable to see why he is so different or scares other people. The performance does go right up to the line dividing "strong" from "over-the-top". If I had a co-worker like the Young portrayed in the movie, and people started getting mysteriously sick at my work, my first thought would be that this co-worker was poisoning everyone.

Roger Lloyd-Pack always seems to me as if he could be the founder of the Over The Top Scene-Chewing School of Acting, but it works ok in this film as he plays the bombastic, abusive father of Graham.

So, to bottom-line it, I would say this movie is decent but not spectacular. The subject is very interesting and worth the time to watch, but I think it could have done better in the hands of a more experienced director.

If there is a movie you would like to see me review, post it in the comments or e-mail me. If you want to double down, ask Wiwille to review the same movie so you can compare and contrast our opinions.

- Mattbear out.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Holy '80s nostalgia, Batman

Couldn't pass up posting this: a trailer for the upcoming movie Lost Boys: The Tribe. That's right, a sequel to the guilty pleasure full of "two Coreys" goodness, The Lost Boys. They even dug up the dude who played "the other" Frog brother in the original. He's been in one actual movie and one After School Special since The Lost Boys. Perhaps this will be his career revival.

The trailer even features a cover of the awesome song "Cry Little Sister" recently featured in an Erik's Ramblings post. (That "awesome" is not sarcastic. I love that song.)




Monday, March 17, 2008

Two Minutes Hate

OK, I have to get this out of my system.

There's a guy at my work (nominally a co-worker, but I don't work with him directly). I don't know his actual name (probably Todd - for some reason, I usually wind up not liking guys named Todd). He shall henceforth be known as Miami Vice Reject (MVR for short). The dude always wears button-up shirts and khakis, and I suppose would be good looking if it weren't for the perm-mullet and the goatie that make him look like he just stepped off the set of Miami Vice. His button-down shirt is usually open one or two buttons to show off the gold chain he's wearing. And some chest hair, as an added bonus.

He also gives off a palpable aura of sleaze. Like you can just see him hanging out in some club, "leaning" some girl and using all the cheesiest, crappiest lines in the book to try to get her for a one-night stand. Or selling you a "like new" Mercedes that really has a salvage title because he wrecked it driving drunk 3 weeks before and got his shady cousin to do some Bondo work on it to make it look ok.

And he always - ALWAYS - has a goddamn bluetooth earpiece for his cellphone on. And 90% of the time, he's talking on it. Apparently, not about work, either - I overheard someone who sits next to him complaining today that he's always talking to bill collectors, the IRS, etc.

(For the record, I am writing this on my lunch break. That's my time.)

So today, MVR strolls into the men's room, talking on his damn bluetooth headset. Dude! Seriously, hang up the motherfucking phone for a couple of minutes. Just because your headset is billed as a "hands-free" doesn't mean you have to use it to talk while urinating. You're in the restroom. Give your phone a rest. The person you're talking to? They really don't want to listen to you piss. And the other gentlemen in the restroom with you? Really don't want to listen to you stupid phone conversation.

And of course he walked out without a) flushing, or b) washing his hands.

I don't even know this guy's name, but I hate him. I want to attach that bluetooth headset to the end of one of his fake Italian loafers, and shove 'em both up his ass.

Man.

- Mattbear out.

What a week

The week of March 10-17 is always an interesting one for me. Why, you ask?

March 10 is my brother-in-law's birthday. Happy Birthday, bro.
March 11 is my son's birthday. He's seven now. I have no idea where the last 7 years have gone. They disappeared like money around an IRS agent.
March 13 is my wife's birthday. Love you baby!
Also our friend Eric's birthday that same day.
March 16 is our anniversary. Both of when we started going out (17 years ago!) and when we got married (2 years ago!).

This year for our anniversary, Jen was going to be gone to Portland on a business trip, so I went with her for the weekend. Our awesome friends in Portland watched the boy while the wife and I went to a restaurant they recommended (a fan-fucking-tastic Morrocan place called Marrakesh) and then a night alone at the hotel. Honestly, probably the best anniversary celebration we've had in a long time.

And for March 17? Well, 24 years ago today, I got hit by car while jaywalking. My knee is still messed up from it. I never forget the date of the accident because it was St. Patrick's Day. (I was in a motorcyle wreck that same year. On July 3rd.)

Friday, March 14, 2008

One more thing...

I wouldn't be doing my job as a man if I didn't post that today has apparently been declared Steak & BJ Day. (work safe provided you have headphones)

Just a couple of tidbits

I would like to first introduce you to the awesome wrongness that is the webcomic Truck Bearing Kibble.

And then to the simple intelligently built flash game Grid 16.

For your musical enjoyment today, Tom Waits's "Goin Out West":


Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Movie Review Time: The Kingdom


Recently I watched The Kingdom, a political thriller/action movie starring Jamie Foxx and a sort-of ensemble cast including Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, and Chris Cooper.
Jennifer Garner would be the weak link there, generally speaking, but unfortunately none of the actors really get to do much with their 2-dimensional characters. Even Chris Cooper, arguably the most talented actor in the movie, can't do too much with his generically written no-nonsense good ol' boy FBI bomb specialist.
The plot might have been gripping had I been able to give a damn about these transparent characters. Garner's character is shown almost as being a helpless damsel in distress type, even though she's an FBI agent, but Bateman's character is actually shown as wussier because he's the nerdy FBI agent. Wow, clever.
The movie tries to show that terrorism is bred not entirely by religion, but by the constant interference of the Western world in the Middle East and our own lack of understanding of their culture and our impact on them. It also tries to show that not all Arabic people are terrorists, or agree with the prevalent anti-American philosophies, but that many of the people in power there do. All well and good until the end when the movie makes it clear that the harder we fight the terrorists, the harder they fight us.
The Kingdom really seemed to me to a watered-down, explosion-filled take on the same themes explored to much greater effect in Syriana. I would basically say of this movie: Don't waste your time.
I'm also going to steal a page from Erik's playbook and offer to review any* movies suggested by my reader(s). Post it as a reply, or e-mail me
- Mattbear, movie snob, out.

This moment of Randomness brought to you by....

I am sometimes accused of being a "know-it-all" due to my penchant for spouting little known facts and correcting people's grammar (yes, I am a grammar nazi, or as I view it a defender of the English language. Deal with it!). Thinking that one knows everything is absolutely preposterous, and I take great offense at being called a "know-it-all". I don't think I know everything.

I just know more than you.

(Just kidding, kids!)

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Let's get back to normal

Time to try to get back to blogging and posting my normal inane crap here.

I don't usually call out a particular post by a fellow blogger, but if you haven't read the most recent post [disclaimer: not very recent] on Psyber's Psychosis, you should. It's a funny one, in his rambling weird way, and has a link to an awesome video that anyone in any kind of male-female relationship should watch.

This past weekend I went to a Steampunk meet-up at the Science Fiction Museum (with an after-meet at McMennamin's) that was a lot of fun. Some of the other participants got some great pictures, including a couple of cute ones of my son with the goggles I gave him for the event.

And if you really want a laugh, there has been circulating about the intarwebs a forum thread typically called "Mall Ninjas" that is superbly hilarious. Having majored in law enforcement in college, I knew a few guys like this. Scary.

I'll be back with more, sooner. Promise. For all one of you who still reads this.
- Mattbear out

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I wanted to update this more often, and just when I start trying, life throws something at me to derail my efforts. Last Thursday I received an e-mail from my Uncle Dale, that just asked me to call him. I was pretty sure I knew what it was about, and I was right. My paternal grandfather had died that morning.

It wasn't much of a surprise - he was 94 years old and had already battled (and beat) cancer - but it still left me feeling down. I love my grandfather, and looked up to him. He was a good man. Not perfect, by any stretch, but good.

He taught me to be honest and to tell it like it is, without apology. He taught me to work hard and be the best at whatever I chose to do. He was constantly trying to put one over on me in the form of some jest or exaggeration, and would give me a sly wink when he was caught. He called me "Matthew Alouysis" for some reason I'll never know (Alouysis is an actual boy's name, but not a popular one).

Some of the things I remember best:

When I was 8 or so, all I wanted for my birthday was a pocket knife. My mother would not consent to buying me one. My grandfather took me shopping for one as my birthday present. I got a Schrade with three blades.

He had a croquet set in his back yard, and taught me to play when I was 9 or so. When I was 11, and visiting for 2 weeks, he invited the neighbor's daughter over to play croquet to try to set me up with her.

When I was twenty, I finally got the pleasure of joining him for a cigar and a Scotch on his back porch, something he did everyday. I had waited a long time to get to do that. I asked him not to tell my mother, because she didn't know that I drank or smoked cigars. He gave me hell for hiding my "vices" from my mother even though I was an adult. My (then) girlfriend (now wife) was sitting on the porch, wearing a sweater in August in Eastern Oregon and complaining she was too hot - she had not brought any short sleeve shirts. My grandfather, 80 years old, gave her a wink and told her, "You can take it off - I won't mind."
I plan to be like that if I reach 80.

I'm going to miss you, grampa.

The obituary my uncle wrote for him:

Lewis Norman Hamer
Age 94
Dad left this world to rejoin his beloved wife Rosalie on Feb 21, 2008. Prior to her death in 1999, they had been married 67 years. He was a devoted husband and father, who led an adventurous life and made innumerable friends of all ages.

Dad was born on Feb 1, 1914 in Hoquiam, WA, to Annie Rowley and Roscoe Norman Hamer. Granddad was a carpenter and sawyer at a time when Grays Harbor was a major lumber shipping port, with 13 sawmills. Dad grew up in this booming pre-industrial-safety environment, carrying 5 paper routes in the morning before school, and playing on the log rafts and in the sawmills after school. One of their favorite entertainments was riding the drive belts that powered the machinery in the mill. As he later noted, it was a miracle he lived to grow up.

At the age of 15, he acquired a job driving one of the local cannery owners up and down the coast to inspect his canneries. At 17, he signed on as Able Seaman on a lumber freighter, the SS West Mahwah, which carried lumber and logs from the Pacific Northwest to and from the east coast of South America. At one point he saw 3 revolutions in 3 days. Another time, on the Amazon River, he had to dislodge a 30-foot Anaconda coming up the anchor chain.

After this voyage, he returned to Hoquiam and finished high school, then began his career as a truck and bus driver, machinist and fleet operator. In 1932, while apprenticing in a machine shop, he fell in love with, and married the boss’ daughter, Rosalie Revie. One of his first jobs after marriage was driving motor coach up the Olympic Peninsula from Grays Harbor. Later, until the early 1940s, he drove for Grays Harbor Stage Lines. In 1941, Mom and Dad and their children, Dixie and Clark, moved to South Bend, Wa, driving bus as well as driving freight truck for the canneries. The third child, Dale, was born that year. Dad then became a machinist for Harbor Plywood, and in 1949 they moved to Tacoma where he worked at Inter-City Auto Freight.

In 1951, Dad began his 27-year career with Weyerhaeuser in Longview, WA starting as Asst Master Mechanic, and working up to Maintenance and Transportation Superintendent, in charge of all repair shops, logging equipment and railroad operation. This was an exciting period in the logging industry, when railroad logging was being replaced by truck operation. During this period, he worked closely with tire manufacturers to develop new heavy-equipment tires, and designed and had built a remote-control steering trailer for extra-long loads.

After retiring from Weyerhaeuser, Dad took a job with Ford, as service manager for a truck dealership in Portland, OR. After Ford closed their heavy truck dealerships, he and Mom moved to Pendleton, OR to be branch manager for Diesel Service Unit. After his 65th birthday, he went to work for the competition, Woodpecker Truck. At the age of 70, he retired for the last time. Shortly thereafter, Mom had a severe stroke, that left her largely disabled. For the next 13 years, Dad provided her attentive, loving care, until she died in December 1999.

In his last 8 years, Dad lived alone in Pendleton, enjoying and being enjoyed by his many friends and neighbors.

Dad was preceded in death by his son Clark, who died in 1989. He is survived by his daughter, Dixie Haywood of Pendleton, SC, his son Dale Hamer, of Seattle WA, 9 grandchildren, 5 great-grandchildren and 1 great-great granddaugther.

The family has great appreciation to his neighbors Bea Herd, Harold and Carol Nelson, and the nuns at St Anthony Hospital.
Dad was cremated at his request. A memorial will be held at a later date.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Why I'm kinda mad at Fry's right now

I love Fry's Electronics normally. The place is like Mecca for geeks, except they put them conveniently nearer to you than Mecca is. I go there and it's like a religious experience. A really expensive religious experience.

Last week, I made a call to check on the balance of my Fry's card. It was really low, so yay. Except it also said I had no credit available. This was not right, so I pushed through to customer service. After explaining about the no credit available thing, the woman said it appeared to be a glitch in the system, everything was fine, I had a dangerously high amount of credit available. Awesome.

Saturday, we went to Fry's because I wanted to buy some cool stuff, as Wiwille suggests I am doing all the time. Shopped for a loooong time, because we always do when we go to Fry's, and got to the checkout with all our stuff, including Rock Band for the Xbox 360. It was a shopping trip made of awesome.

Then our card didn't work. And credit customer service was closed until Monday.

Dammit.

A nice (and hot) manager came over and put all our stuff on hold so we could come back and get it after the card issue was sorted out. Alrighty.

Monday comes, I get the card issue sorted out. For sure. I even call back into their phone system and it tells me I have unhealthy amounts of credit available. Awesome. We go back to Fry's.

The same nice (hot) manager girl is there, and sees us getting our stuff. She says somebody tried to sell our copy of Rock Band, but she wouldn't let them because she didn't want to let down our son. Cool. We get all our stuff and head to the car. As I'm loading the Rock Band box into the car, I see it says "PS2" on it. What the hell? Somebody swapped it so they could sell our 360 version. We go to exchange it, and sure enough, they're out of Rock Band for the 360.

Dammit.

The manager in the Returns department arranged for one to be shipped up to their store from another store in Oregon, and should be here in 2-3 days. That was nice of them, but dammit - we were really looking forward to some cheesy rockin' goodness last night. If I found out who pulled that swap so they could sell our package, I'd kick him in the nuts.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Time flies when you're lame

It's been forever since I posted here. I am going to try to work on that.

Right now I'm just going to throw a few fun/amusing/interesting links at you:

  1. Alt Text had Lore (formerly of internet awesomeness Brunching Shuttlecocks) do an article on the controversy of supposedly explicit sex scenes in video games. Funny stuff, as only Lore can do.
  2. Flula Borg's American Hot Jams. I don't know what else to say. Courtesy Willtuck.
  3. Sarcastic Gamer does some funny parodies of ads and such. Courtesy my wife.
  4. Not funny, but very cool, PBS has a whole bunch of information about Nikola Tesla.
  5. My heroes Improv Everywhere pulled off a terrific scene at Grand Central Station.
  6. A long time ago, I heard about an episode of Conan O'Brien's Late Show where he went to interview Hunter S. Thompson at his home, and they drank and shot guns. I searched online for it for a long time, but to no avail. Wiwille found it for me. Wiser words have rarely been spoken - "Move your whiskey before you shoot."

All for now. Enjoy.

Friday, January 18, 2008

R.I.P. Bobby Fischer



My father taught me to play chess when I was 5 years old. I love the game; always have. I probably knew who Bobby Fischer was before I knew who Mister Rogers was.

Fischer died yesterday in Reykjavik, Iceland, where he was living since he became a wanted felon in the U.S. for the simple act of playing in a chess tournament in then-embargoed Yugoslavia. He was 64 years old.

Fischer was crazy as a bedbug, but he was an amazing chess player.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Damn funny....at least if you're me

If you are married and/or have children, you simply must - MUST - watch this video.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Mockumercials

My love of wearing kilts is well-known (and at least by wiwille, greatly disliked). So I was amused to visit the Utilikilts site recently and find a contest for mockumercials (fan-made commercials for Utilikilts) and a catalog of previous entries.

Most are at the very least amusing, and some had me cracking up. Except the "Trouser Witch" one (done as a Blair Witch parody, and exceptionally un-funny). My favorites are "What a waist", "They work", "Kilt Faerie", "Kilt Check", and "Good girls".

Most of the mockumercials center around women's fascination with and attraction to kilt-wearing men...which is truer than you pants-wearing pansies might think.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Weird omen

The collection of buildings I work in now were built about 6 and a half years ago. After our group took up residence here, a bicycle was parked in the bike rack in the underground garage. It was a beat up old blue-greenish 10 speed.

Every time I went to the underground garage level, it was there. Every day, same spot, same lock. For a long time, I was uncertain whether it was being ridden into work every day and parked in the same spot, or if it had just been abandoned. As the years wore on and most of the staff around here changed, I became more certain that the bike had just been abandoned. After over six years, there it was, in the same spot, with the same lock. The one constant in the ever-flowing change that is our office.

Today I went down to the underground level to walk over to the building with the cafeteria, taking the underground route to dodge the rain and cold.

The bike was gone.

I don't know why, but it made me feel strange. The one thing that's been the same since we came to this brand new sparkling campus six years ago just up and disappeared.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

It's the most wonderful time of year...Dead Pool time

Every year, I run a Dead Pool game. Not for money, or anything like that, just for morbid amusement and the prestige of accurately predicting what celebrities will snuff it in the coming year.

The 2007 Dead Pool is just about up, and Charley and Cynthia, who created a joint list, are huge favorites to win. Predicting the deaths of both Anna Nicole Smith and Tammy Faye Messner (nee Baker) put them into the lead.

Given that it's mid-December, it is time for me to give fair warning to all those who play, and any who would like to join in the game this year, that it's time to get your 2008 list going. Just send me 25 celebrity names by December 31, and you have the chance to take the coveted title of Harbinger of Death for 2008. If you are an existing player and just want your list to ride, or just want to put new names in place of those who died, just let me know.

For those who haven't played, the rules:
1. Scoring: If a celebrity on your list dies between midnight Pacific Time January 1, 2008 and 11:59pm Pacific Time December 31, 2008, you get a number of points equal to 100 minus the celebrity's age.
2. Qualification: Honestly, the definition of "celebrity" is pretty loose. Basically, I better be able to find a Wikipedia article about the person.
3. Smack-talking: Encouraged.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Science is Kickass

I loves me some science. So I enjoyed reading that a recent NASA mission provided some new information about the Aurora Borealis.

Kickass!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Bush Administration gets dumber, issue #3156

Apparently, the Bush administration has a policy for hiring the Press Secretary that includes a smart-dumb-smart-dumb clause. To whit:

Ari Fleischer: Smart guy, good mouthpiece. Clearly sold his sold to Satan when he accepted the Press Secretary gig.

Scott McClellan: Such an idiot he actually believed Karl Rove and the White House when they told him they had nothing to do with the Valerie Plame leak. Or so he says in his new book.

Tony Snow: Smart guy, with morals slightly exceeded by a heroin-addicted weasel. I think he not only got the Press Secretary job, but may also have gotten a mortgage on Ari Fleischer's soul as a part of his own deal with the devil.

Dana Perino: Recently admitted that she had no idea what the Cuban Missile Crisis was when a reporter asked a question referencing it.

To my readers: if you are past, say, junior high age and don't know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was, please quit reading my blog. You clearly aren't qualified. You may, however, be just what the White House is looking for in a Press Secretary, but only if two more resign inside of the next year.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

What do you geek out about?

A certain friend's wife is fond of complaining when we play video games that we are "geeking out". She's right, and she's wrong. Yes, we're geeks and we "geek out" about our video games. But I maintain that everyone is a geek about something. Jocks are just geeks about sports. Botanists are geeks about plants. Everybody has something they focus on, obsess on, can talk for hours with someone else about even when the rest of the world couldn't care less. We're all geeks.

As visual evidence, check out the 56 Geek poster. I see at least half a dozen that could be used to describe me.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 5: Split Second

While I never cared for Blade Runner, Rutger Hauer has been in some pretty awesome movies. I am particularly fond of The Hitcher. Eventually, Mr. Hauer's career nosedived and he pretty much did only straight-to-video movies and video game voices (with a few notable exceptions).

Right before this happened, Hauer starred in a sci-fi action movie called Split Second, that absolutely bombed in the theaters. Why did it bomb? Well, the writing was pretty cheesy (the main character's name is Harley Stone, for god's sake), the monster was a direct rip-off of Aliens, and it was a pretty mindless action flick.

So why do I love it? Mostly for Rutger Hauer's over-the-top performance as a burned out, half crazy cop, and the interactions he has with his new by-the-book geeky partner. Yes, it's one of those movies, but in this context the loose cannon/by the book combo works well, and Hauer and Neil Duncan (who went pretty much nowhere after this) have an amusing chemistry that makes the movie watchable. Plus, Pete Postlethwaite who is good no matter what you put him in, and Kim Cattrall before she looked like a well-used leather hand bag.

It's out on DVD, but Netflix doesn't seem to have it. So if you spy it at your local video store, give it a shot.

You'll want bigger guns.

-Mattbear out.

Previously on The Inexcusable:

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 4: Laurel Canyon

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 3: the Jason Priestley double-feature

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 2: A Shock to the System

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 1: Diggstown

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Up 'n' Down

I had a real up-and-down weekend.

Friday, I won our weekly poker game. Yay!
In the process, I pissed off one of my friends/opponents by breaking poker ettiquette. Boo!
I have since apologized for my behavior, and he apologized for storming out and yelling. Yay!
Plus, I finally got a house rule named after me. Boo/Yay!

Saturday, I officiated a wedding. Yay!
The bride was pretty much insane all day and everything was late. Boo!
The actual ceremony went well and everyone said I did great. Yay!

My Xbox 360 got the Red Ring of Death. Boo!
Microsoft says it's because I plug it into a surge protector and not directly into the wall. Boo!
They're going to cover it under extended warranty because they've admitted it's a production failure. Yay!
I won't have my 360 for 3-4 weeks. Boo!

Got my old '69 VW bus from my brother-in-law's place where it was stored. Yay!
By the time we got to Fall City, it was running on 3 cylinders, having spit out a spark plug (which it has done before) and I had to have it towed the rest of the way. Boo!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

I think we're getting to the root of the problem.

Tom Cruise apparently isn't getting much sleep, what with a baby and acting and running a studio he bought, and all. But Cruise says, "I don't sleep much anyway."

You know who else doesn't sleep very much? Schizophrenics.

Just sayin'.

Whedon gives Fox another show to cancel

I am no Joss Whedon fanboy. I did not care one whit about Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. But I did very much like Firefly and its movie, Serenity. So I do pay a little bit of attention to what Whedon is up to.

I am a huge fan of Eliza Dushku. She's a very talented actress, as demonstrated here:


So, I pay attention when Joss Whedon gets a new show, and it's going to star Ms. Dushku - as has happened with the new upcoming show Dollhouse.

An interesting premise for this show, a good director, a hot star, and possibly a good writer, and Fox has signed a contract for seven episodes. So, you know, they'll probably cancel it by the second commercial break because the show is too good for them, seeing as how they've axed other excellent shows in the past for no reason - a habit that has been known to piss me off.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Heckuva job, ya idiot

So, somebody at FEMA got the bright idea to stage a fake press conference about the California wildfires, using FEMA employees to pose as reporters and lob softball questions. The genius who cooked up this scheme was scheduled to take a new job as the Public Information Officer for the Director of National Intelligence. The fake news conference turned out to be a great Career Limiting Move (CLM) as he has now been bagged from that new job.

When a political hack Republican lapdog like Michael Chertoff says you've just done "one of the dumbest and most inappropriate things" he's ever seen, that's saying something. This idiot definitely doesn't deserve the promotion that he's not getting anyway, but he does deserve an award - perhaps "Fucktard of the Year".

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Zombie Defense Kit

Some guy made an awesomely funny Emergency Zombie Defense Kit. I think it's hilarious and well done. I'm not fond of zombie movies myself, so I think if I were going to do this I'd make an Emergency Vampire Defense Kit. Cause I'm more a blood-sucking nasferatu fan, myself.



Friday, October 19, 2007

Clothing, and sometimes the lack thereof

My preference for wearing a kilt is pretty well known among my friends. Therefore, I am embarrassed to say that I did not know that today is Kilt Day, and I as a result I am not wearing a kilt. Damn these unofficial, anonymously declared special days!



As best I can tell, Kilt Day may have been declared by Kiltmen.com. So it's quite arbitrary. And perhaps a little redundant, since Glenlivet sponsors Wear Your Kilt to Work Day on April 15. Still, the stigma that still gets attached to kilt-wearing rears its ugly head far too often, so us kilt wearers need to stick together. One of my friends and few actual readers is a perpetrator of this anti-kilt prejudice, so I enjoy flaunting my man-skirt around him whenever I can.

I do get some crap from guys when I go about kilt-ed, but I don't much care. They just don't have the cajones to wear ones themselves. That's their loss. Kilts are quite comfortable.

Also, the majority of ladies, it has been my experience, love a man in a kilt. Part of it, I am sure, is the perceived mystery of whether or not a man wears an undergarment beneath his kilt. My answer, regardless of the questioner's gender, age (well - as long as they're over 18), or anything else, is always the same: I just say, "There's only one way to find out!"

Moving on!

Another thing I am well known for is taking my shirt off anytime I am indoors and am allowed to. Having an excess of insulation (read: fat), I get far too warm wearing a shirt in a room-temperature environment. And that is why I love Improv Everywhere's latest prank: to poke fun at Abercrombie & Fitch's homoerotic advertising that constantly features shirtless men (more like boys in most cases), Improv Everywhere sent 111 shirtless men in to shop for shirts at Aberzombie & Bitch (as I like to call them). A "no-shirt, no-shoes, no-service" policy makes sense in an eating establishment, but in a clothing store? Don't you want to sell shirts to the shirtless? But no, A&F kicked them out.

This reminded me of something I did last week. I had gone into a store to purchase some new underwear for myself. I was wearing a kilt when I did so.

I love irony, and practice it whenever possible.

- Mattbear out.

Democrat Senator almost gets some cajones

Senator Chris Dodd (also Presidential hopeful) is saying he will attempt to block a FISA renewal bill, because it gives retroactive immunity to telecoms for any role they played in Bush's illegal wiretap program.

That's great. I think they need to be held responsible, and Dodd is trying to make sure a legal avenue is there for doing so. But what about the actual action of holding them responsible? When is someone going to do that? And the bigger question -

How about actually doing something to the Bush administration, since they're the ones that broke the law in the first place?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

I'm a big fan of H.P. Lovecraft's fiction. It generally, though, does not translate well into film. Most attempts to do so have resulted in downright horrible movies.

A couple of years ago, an independent crew made a silent film of Call of Cthulhu that turned out excellently, though. Filming it as a period silent movie actually worked very well, and their project captured some of Lovecraft's ideas brilliantly.

Apparently this same group has been at work on a second Lovecraft movie, The Whisperer in the Darkness. This time it's a "talkie", but still in black and white. I look forward to this one.

Hallow's End

We always give our homes a name of one sort or another - our last house was "Creepy Forest Lodge", so called because our son decided that one particular stand of trees in our yard was a "Creepy Forest". He also decided one part of the yard was "Pirate Island", but for some reason we went with the Creepy Forest part.

For our new house, the missus suggested "Hallow's End", for reasons I could not fathom. Given that I could think of nothing better, we went with that. She has started a new blog for the house. Check it out.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Cool site: The Surnateum

The Museum of Supernatural History, or Surnateum, seems to be a collective or family of magicians and performers with a collection of interesting magic props, "artifacts", gambling cheating rigs, and more. Really, I'm not entirely sure what the Surnateum is. But I do wholeheartedly suggest perusing the site.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Random stuff

Some of my friends have been vegans or vegetarians, and I being the big carnivore that I am like to make fun of them. I appreciate that they are making a different choice, and bully for them, but I reserve the right to make fun of them for it. Making fun of people is sort of my hobby. But you better pray for salvation if you start pushing your herbivore bullshit on me. It pisses me off more than if you try to push religion on me - and I've been known to try to slam doors literally on Jehova's Witlesses when they come around.

This why I find this post hysterically funny. (From some blogger who recently linked to Billy Ocean, Student Council Treasurer)

In gaming news, having raked in the cash from three Halo games but not wanting to do a fourth (or fifth, if you count the upcoming Halo Wars), it's official: Bungie is splitting from Microsoft. I wonder if Bungie employees will still get Microsoft's awesome healthcare benefits?

Ever-hated idiot hack pundit Ann Coulter has said that the government should take away her right to vote, something I wholeheartedly agree with. Unfortunately, her real statement was that they should take away all women's right to vote, because then, she posits, we would never have another Democrat President. Why hasn't she starved to death? Seriously, that woman just needs a hoagie, a conscience, and to get laid.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Issaquah Village Theater costume sale

Hmmm, found out yesterday that the Issaquah Village Theater is having a costume sale on Saturday. I'm going to go see if I can find anything to help with a Steampunk costume.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

20 things not to do in your writing

BoingBoing linked to a great list of 20 "writing blunders", as blogged by author E. E. Knight. It's a nice little list for us wannabes.

Friday, September 28, 2007

12 months, 12 goals

I have decided to set some goals for myself - 12 things I want to accomplish within a year. If I can knock one off the list each month, I'm doing great. The clock starts this coming Monday, October 1, 2007; I intend to have all 12 done by Wednesday, October 1, 2008. I will revisit the list every month on the 1st and post an update here. This is no meme, I just decided today that I need to get going on some stuff.

1. Take some guitar lessons.

  • I don't want to be the next Jimi Hendrix or anything...just want to be able to play a few blues and rock'n'roll tunes.

2. Weight loss plan - goal is 220 lbs. lean mass, 30-40 lbs. fat

  • One of the hardest goals on here, but damn it, I'm going to do it. I intend to document my progress on this in each monthly update, so if I'm slacking all my readers (both of you) can call me on it.

3. Go to a Canucks vs. Avalanche game.

  • I've been meaning to do this for a long time. This year, the Avs are at Vancouver 4 times: 11/9, 2/9, 2/27, and 4/1. Who's up for a trip to Van and when?

4. Complete at least one short film.

  • Got my script. Just have to get off my lazy ass and do this thing.

5. Update my will.

  • Haven't updated it since we had it done 5 years ago. Marriage changes some of the particulars, so we need to update it.

6. Start my son's college fund.

  • I've been meaning to do this since he was born. Need to do this one ASAP.

7. Design and make a good Steampunk costume for myself.

  • I've been thinking about making and selling Steampunk costume and prop stuff as a sideline. Could tie in to #10 below.

8. Fix my motorcycle.

  • I need to ride, damn it!

9. Play in a casino poker tournament.

  • Maybe I'll be the next Chris Moneymaker. Or maybe I'll get busted out on the first hand. Either way, I want to try.

10. Start a small side business.

  • I think everyone should have their own business at least once in their life.

11. Go on at least one decent length road trip.

  • It's about the drive, not the destination.

12. Visit either Vegas (could combine with #11!) or Amsterdam.

  • Preferably with friends. Got a preference? Gimme a vote for one or the other.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Small (and probably temporary) victory for our rights

It's no secret that I am not a fan of the (un)Patriot Act. So I was overjoyed today to see that a federal judge in Oregon ruled that the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA, that thing Bush ignored by ordering warrantless wiretaps), as amended by the Patriot Act, is unconstitutional and violates the 4th Amendment.

I've been saying for a long time that the Patriot Act pisses all over the Bill of Rights. It's nice to be validated by someone with actual jurisprudence and power. Of course, this ruling will probably get overturned as it gets appealed up the (increasingly neo-con) chain of courts. But for now, I like the feeling of a small victory for our rights.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I am hurty.

Sunday I managed to pull some muscles in my lower back, and have been next to immobile for the last couple days. I'm back to work today, sitting made bearable by muscle relaxants and pain killers. I hate it when my back goes out. It's only happened this bad one other time.

This has inspired me to get back on my weight loss plan. Being this out of shape sucks.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Institution of Marriage

Whilst surfing about the internet I stumbled on an amusing story, although I find it somewhat suspect and wonder if it's a myth:

A husband is having intimate online discussions with a woman, frequently talking about how horrible his marriage is. The woman commiserates, as she too is in a horrible marriage.
Meanwhile, his wife is having intimate online discussions with a man, frequently talking about how horrible her marriage is. The man commiserates, as he too is in a horrible marriage.

Surprise, surprise - they were really talking to each other without knowing it. And now they're both filing for divorce on the grounds of unfaithfulness.

It is a well-known fact that (even though I am married) I generally frown on the institution of marriage. The biggest reason being that I have seen so many go so badly, either because they were ill-conceived or ill-maintained.

Ill-conceived seems to be the most common culprit. If your boyfriend is a jackass, marrying him isn't going to make him better. If your relationship is falling apart, that's NOT the time to get married. You have to start with a sound, stable relationship if you want a marriage to succeed.

Ill-maintained is the harder one to conquer. It's very easy to slip into this.

A quick aside: some years ago, at a party, a friend asked me something about her relationship (I think). I said, "I'm the last person you should ask for relationship advice." Another friend said, "You should be the best person to ask - you've been with the same woman for 11 years!" (much longer than any of the friends present had been together - and now closing in on 17!).
"Go ahead, ask me how I did that!" I said.
"Ok, how'd you do that?" my friend asked.
"I have no idea!" I exclaimed. "I've bumbled along for 11 years, and somehow it's worked out!"

This is largely true. However, over the years I've had time to analyze what I did do (without knowing what I was doing), and figured out some of what worked, and what didn't. The old saying goes that "communication is the key", but I would say that "constructive communication is the key". It's too easy to argue and complain and call it communication. You have to discuss, negotiate, reason.

I would guess that - if that couple is real - they did none of that. Whining to each other online is probably the most communication they ever did, and that isn't very constructive.

Aside from "constructive communication", some of the few tips I can give anyone in a relationship:

1. Never go to sleep angry. (This is the only good piece of relationship advice I ever got from my father). Always sort out the problem before you go to sleep for the night - even if it means staying up until 5am talking. It's ok to go to bed angry - but the discussion better follow you there, and you better not sleep until it's settled.

2. For a successful relationship, you each have to give up a part of yourselves, but you each have to keep a part of yourselves. The trick is in finding the balance. You have to spend x amount of time together, and y amount of time apart. You have to agree on and like x things, but have different opinions on y things. Figure out how to balance x and y.

3. Come to an agreement on mutual goals. Financial considerations, home (ownership, what type of home, etc.), to some extent career (is one of you willing to work hard while the other goes to school to fulfill their dream of being a gastroenterologist?), kids, anything else that you must achieve together.

4. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than jealousy. You must have trust and a lack of jealousy to succeed. If you don't have that now, figure out a way to get there.

And then there's one thing I aspire to, but haven't attained yet - when asked how he staid happily married for 50+ years, Larry Hagman said simply: "Separate bathrooms."

I dream of that. Oh lord, how I dream of that.

-Mattbear, marriage counselor, out.

Friday, August 31, 2007

And my friends wonder why I don't want to go to Burning Man anymore

It's been a long-standing joke at Burning Man to suggest that someone set The Man ablaze before the sanctioned Burn Night. Well, guess what?




That's The Man burning early. Somebody set him on fire late Monday night/early Tuesday morning. Never fear, Burners, the Burning Man LLC has constructed a new one and put it in the original's place. Honestly, I'm surprised they haven't just built an extra one every year and kept it around just in case. The police arrested the premature igniter, Paul Addis, for arson.




Yes, that's his mugshot (with a little LOLCats-style text added on). Also, reports say Addis hung a pair of silver testicles on The Man back in '97. [nostalgia mode on] That was the first year I attended Burning Man, and I remember a certain someone staggering back into camp, really intoxicated, railing about this travesty and how he spent a good amount of time jumping up and trying to use various instruments to remove said testicles. [nostalgia mode off]

Apparently, some burners have been so upset by the early burning that they left. God save me from such drama queens. Others have hailed Addis' stunt as the ultimate Burning Man prank, and have raised funds to bail him out and pay for his legal defense.



And, in more depressing news, some guy committed suicide at Burning Man. Always, somebody has to be an idiot and do something to get killed or seriously injured and bum everybody out.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Trying to find center

With the wife and kid gone to Ocean Shores, I was free from parental duties last night. I certainly didn't want to stay home, either. I endeavoured to visit from friends, but most were working, not feeling well, unreachable, or busy. So I was at loose ends and had to figure out how to spend my evening without getting bummed out.

Inspired by a thread recently started on the Brass Goggles Steampunk Forum, I decided to head toward Seattle and go to Gasworks Park, one of my favorite places in the city. I stopped at Dick's and got a burger and shake on the way, naturally (one of the many things I love about Seattle: you can say, "I'm craving some Dick's" and still be secure in your heterosexuality). I have been feeling uncentered lately, not myself. Gasworks always reminds me of good times and a younger, crazier me. I figured it was just the thing I needed.

When I reached Gasworks, it was pretty much dark already. I started to park on the uphill side street we used to always park on, but there was a good deal of glass from broken windows that spoke of recent car break-ins. I decided to park on the main street in a well-lit area instead. The park was still open, so I could have parked in the actual lot, but I am conditioned never to do that due to the many late-night visits of the "old days" when I would have gotten a ticket for parking there after the park was closed.

As I strolled into the park, a flood of memories washed over me. It had been awhile since I had been to Gasworks. I love it there. So many good times, so many memories of lazy nights and sunrises. There were a ton of people at the park, mostly teenagers enjoying the last gasp of summer. For awhile, I feared I was the oldest in the park, until I ran across some other adults. It made me feel old anyway.

I walked past the gasworks, admiring their heavy industrial beauty, and climbed up Sundial Hill as I always have. I walked past young couples lieing in the grass making out - each time I would look away out of respect, even though I remember not caring who might see when I did that myself. One of the wonderful things about love is sometimes you can shut out the rest of the world when you're together.

Reaching the top of the hill, I strolled to the back side of it and looked down, seeing in my head the images of myself and my friends rolling down it like a bunch of little kids. People often thought we were high or something, but we were just having fun. After standing there a couple of minutes, I walked across the sundial and sat down to just stare at the city lights for awhile. I still contend it is the best possible view of the city at night.

And I was right...sitting there, I found myself moving just a bit more toward center. Things felt a little more right. I felt at peace while I was there.

Eventually, I decided it was late enough that I ought to get home. I started to walk back to my car. In front of the covered climbing toys sat a group of teenage girls. "Hey! How are you doing?" one asked as I passed.

"Good," I said. "You girls having fun tonight?"

"Yeah!" one said. "Except that these heels are killing me!" She was sitting barefoot next to a pair of red four-inch heels and wearing a short skirt. This made me feel even older.

"They'll do that to ya," I said. "Every day, I'm thankful I'm a guy. Sorry." I shrugged, they laughed. "Have a good night!" I said as I walked away.

"You too!" came the reply, with more giggling, until some other old guy walked past them - "Hey! How are you doing?" they said to him. I just smiled to myself.

Out on the street, as I walked to my truck, a Mini Cooper passed me by, reminding me that my wife was gone and I'd be sleeping alone. I don't do that well. I turn into a whiny wuss when I have to sleep alone. Oh well, I figured it was late and I'd be tired enough to sleep by the time I got home. I was right again...I conked out as soon as I laid down.

Still sucked though. I'm impatient for Friday when I get to see her.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Inspection passed

Well, our buyers have waved inspection, so the last two hurdles to jump are the "Covenants and restrictions", which I'm sure they will be ok with, and financing, which is looking good. We are in the home stretch of selling our house.

Saturday was a tiring day of running around looking at rental houses. We found one we really like and are hoping desperately to get. I just dropped off the application this afternoon. It's a funky house on 5 acres just off the Issaquah-Hobart road. And it has a hot tub!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

We have a winner!

Finally got an offer on our house last night. Went and signed the paperwork today to accept the offer. Now just have to jump the hurdles of inspection, appraisal, and closing.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Blog Necromancy

There are a couple of blogs on my lists to the right that were thought to be dead, but seem to have returned from the grave.

First off, there's Billy Ocean, Student Council Treasurer, the collaborative and random effort of wiwille, myself, and some cohorts from work/used to be from work (willtuck, nhak, and zooloo). If you've never checked out the unmitigated awesomeness that is BOSCT, take some time to do so now.

Second, there's Customer Service Hell. A recent post indicates that it is back for now, but will soon be a truly dead blog.

Hooray for raising blogs from the dead! It's as if John Dee himself took an interest in blogging.


Thursday, August 09, 2007

My kid is more metal than your kid

So, I have a hookup on my car stereo for my iPod, and that's pretty much what I listen to when I'm driving. My six-year-old would frequently ask to hear certain songs that he knew were on my iPod, but it's really hard to search for a specific song from the stereo's interface. So I created a playlist just for him. No Rafi here; my kid listens to rock'n'roll.

So now pretty much whenever he's in the truck, he asks to listen to his playlist (yes, he uses that terminology, "my playlist"). One day last week, I was bringing him home from daycare and he's in the back rocking out to a song on his playlist (I think it was Radar Gun by the Bottlerockets). After I got out and opened his door, he jumped out and threw the horns. Both hands up above his head, throwin the horns like he was Ozzy Osbourne.

Yep, that's my kid. Couldn't deny it if I tried.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I'm a comic! (strip, that is)

If you've talked to me recently, you probably know of my current fascination with poker. Particularly the current popular favorite variety No-limit Texas Hold 'Em ("the Cadillac of poker"), although I'm finding 7 card stud is a better game. I play pretty much weekly, and have also taken up playing (free) tournaments online.

As with most things I get into, thoughts about poker keep bleeding over into parts of life where they don't belong. So last week, I was getting on an elevator to go the 3rd floor, and pushed the button for such. Friend Taaminara was going to the 2nd floor, so I pushed the button for her. Three other guys got on the elevator, and said they needed 5 and 6. I pushed said buttons. After looking at the buttons for a second, I said, "I must be playing too much poker because all I can think is, I need a four for the straight." This got a chuckle.

I decided to send this little anecdote to the author of +EV, a webcomic I always read that revolves around a small time pro poker player and his obsession with the game. He used the idea and ran the strip today, with a credit to me in his blog. Thanks Bobby!

Of course, I'm not the only one with the poker obsession. The missus is quickly becoming quite the card shark. She too has been playing in the weekly game, and tournaments online. The site we've been playing on (Ultimate Bet) has some Aruba promo tournaments going. Last night, she came in 30th in the free event (out of about 5000), qualifying her for the semi-finals tournament on Saturday. If she places within the top 100 in that event, she gets into the monthly final with a chance to win one of 50 seats for the 2007 Aruba Classic. One can also pay to get into the final tournament, but we aren't playing with money online. So I'm rootin' for her! And, of course, playing in the free tournaments to try to get my own seat as well.

Mattbear's all-in, baby!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Bad news day for space travel


Ok, first off, late last night just before bed I read that an explosion occurred at the Mojave aerospace site of Scaled Composites LLC (makers of the SpaceShipOne that won the Ansari X-Prize), killing two [edit: a third died today] and injuring four others. My heart sank as I read this news. I am a big fan and proponent of private space flight, and I am saddened by the death of these two [now three] contributors and the hurt to the others. I hope this does not set back Scaled Composite's efforts too much, though.

I was also very disappointed with MSNBC (as I so often am) to see that the report was buried by this morning, replaced by the news that NASA has admitted to letting astronauts fly after they'd been drinking. From the article:

"The report said NASA was not equipped to deal adequately with episodes of flying after drinking. 'The medical certification of astronauts for flight duty is not structured to detect such episodes, nor is any medical surveillance program by itself likely to detect them or change the pattern of alcohol use,' it said."

....ummm, I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest: maybe it should. Hello. A little pre-flight breathalizer could solve this problem.

To top that off, NASA also admitted there had been at least one case of hardware sabotage of a part destined for the International Space Station by a contractor that it refused to name.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Of concerts and getting old

So I was chatting on IM with a friend who just attended Ozzfest, and I said it used to be cool but I have no interest in going anymore. Then this followed:

ME: Besides, I've seen Ozzy 6 or 7 times, at least

He says: this was my first time
He says: rocked, still don't have all of my voice back

ME: heh, I know that feeling
ME: Ozzy was the first rock concert I ever went to

He says: really? right on

ME: I still have the tshirt, with a rip in it from the fence I was against

He says: that is awesome. Family Heirloom

ME: that was 19 years ago. I may have to go cry now

He says: You are old.

ME: no doubt about it

He says: practically ancient

ME: thanks, asshole
------------------------

And in weird news:
In Washington DC, an armed robber broke up a dinner party, but then just drank some wine and asked for a hug. Hey kids, can you say "High as a kite"? I knew you could.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 4: Laurel Canyon



So, when Wiwille posted his "Movie Review" challenge offer, I suggested he review the little-known indie film Laurel Canyon. I also said that once he posted that I would respond with my own review. I'm a little late.

Written and directed by Lisa Cholodenko, director of another great indie film High Art, Laurel Canyon centers on the relationship of a couple of young doctors (played by Kate Beckinsale and Christian Bale) who move out to L.A. for the husband's internship. The couple plans on living in what is supposed to be the vacant home of his record producer mother (played by Frances McDormand). Unfortunately, she is still in the house recording a record with a rock band. Her loose rock'n'roll lifestyle does not jive with her son's rather straightlaced outlook, but proves tempting to the sheltered wife. Add to the mix his sexy co-worker (played by Natasha McElhone) who is tempting to him, and life gets messy.

The foundation of the film is the writing. Many a story has been drawn around relationships and the stupid things that people do to screw them up. This one, however, rang true to me. It's not something everyone can relate to, but having been the conservative, uptight type (I was once, yes) I can relate to Bale's character's conflict with what he views as the irresponsible lifestyle his mother leads. Having also been somewhat sheltered, I can relate to the temptation of Beckinsale's character when she gets close to that other kind of life. Jealousy, temptation, and lack of communication are all relationship factors most of us have experienced, and they are the foundation of the well-written characterization in this story.

The acting is also top-notch. Cholodenko clearly found herself an amazing cast, and must have known how to help them do their job well. Some of the actors, like Bale and Beckinsale, were not nearly as famous then as they are now, so perhaps part of it was luck. Either way, I felt the performances were excellent.

The cinematography was so-so. Nothing fantastic. It's the story and acting that make this movie great.

The biggest criticism I can give this movie is that it delves into experiences that maybe not many viewers can relate to. But if you can look past the face of it and see the truths of relationships that it addresses, you can find something in this film to relate to. Rent it!

Previously on The Inexcusable:

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 3: the Jason Priestley double-feature

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 2: A Shock to the System

Obscure Movies I Love, pt. 1: Diggstown

Monday, July 09, 2007

Reverend Mattbear presiding

If you're a long time reader of this blog (and I think all two of you who still read this are) you may recall me complaining that while I am an ordained minister, I have never had the opportunity to perform a wedding ceremony. Well, I've finally been asked to officiate a wedding in November. Yay, me!

It's going to be especially interesting since the union is between one nominally Christian and one nominally Wiccan, and they want to incorporate elements from both traditions. I'm going to have to consult the only Wiccan priest I know.

Friday, July 06, 2007

The Crazies and the Woodwork they come out of

While some may want to discuss real political issues, I'd rather talk about the crazy mofos that inevitably come out when an election is coming. Even if it's a year and a half away. And I'm not even talking about psycho-bitch Hillary.

I can't believe I'm linking to MTV, but they do have a funny blurb on some of the crazier Presidential candidates. I've heard of ol' Sharkey (beware: web site seems designed by 13 year old goth) before, so I was unsurprised to see he is officially running. My favorite? To quote the MTV article:

"Jackson Kirk Grimes — 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on 'Star Trek,' this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government if elected."

Between him and Sharkey, they're really giving pagans some good press.

I'm not quite progressive enough to vote for the vampire (or perhaps he would prefer vampyre), and not quite militant enough to vote for the fascist. But this guy might get my vote:

"Warren Roderick 'Bob, Warren G.' Ashe — 50, ran for president in 2000 and 2004, former U.S. Navy pilot and 'Earth Ground Computer Specialist' in the Army National Guard, president of the Air Force's U.S. Anti Drug Task Force (2000-2007) and president of the Marijuana Legalization Committee."

In any case, it's always nice to see that being sane isn't a prerequisite for running for President. I expect a TomKat ticket come 2012.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Still here

To the two or so people who still read this: Yes, I will be posting more soon. The last few weeks have been very hard on me, despite the fact that I have returned to work - in fact, I'm happiest when I'm at work. How fucked up is that?

Anyway, expect more posts soon.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Dr. Death goes free


After serving eight years of a 10-25 year sentence, Dr. Jack Kevorkian has been released from prison. He has promised not to help anyone kill themselves anymore, and if he does it's a violation of his parole and he goes back to the slammer.

Assisted suicide is a hotly debated thing, although it has cooled off a bit since Kevorkian went to the big house. The whole Terry Schiavo public circus brought up some aspects of the debate again, but that was short lived (pardon the rather tasteless pun).

Me? I know I have a great fear of living as an invalid or slowly circling the drain with cancer or some other wasting disease. As such, I am pretty cool with assisted suicide, and ol' Dr. Jack.

Monday, May 21, 2007

This one time, at Burning Man, I learned some stuff...

So, yesterday, I was using Stumble Upon for the first time in quite awhile (if you've never used Stumble Upon, you're missing out on one of the coolest 'net-surfing experiences evar). I was perusing videos, and got a few very cool science and astronomy ones. This made me start thinking of the last time I went to Burning Man, back in 2004.

I was pretty burnt out (pun intended) on Burning Man by then, what with 2004 being the 8th year in a row that I had attended. I did not have much fun, for various reasons, and vowed I would not be returning (and thus far, I have not). But there was one stand-out, flat out awesome experience I had while there.

Some folks had seen fit to build a dome waaaaay out on the playa to server as a planetarium that they named Bok Globule, and every night they would give presentations using a software package called Digital Universe that was created by Hayden Planetarium. (In theory, one can download it for free from their site here, but it's been giving me a "service temporarily unavailable" error since yesterday). The presentations were given by one Carter Emmart (warning: super-long YouTube video), who is "Director of Astrovisualization" for the Rose Center for Earth and Space.

Now, I had an interest in astronomy when I was a kid, but it really fell to the background as I got older. These presentations way out in the desert were awesome. I saw it one night, and it truly blew me away. It gave you a feeling for how amazingly huge and awesome the universe is. Sometimes, things like that can leave you feeling really insignificant, but this one left me feeling full of hope, with a sense of how important it is for us to care for the one Earth we've been given.

Watching the cool science and astronomy videos via Stumble got me thinking about the planetarium, and I did some Google searching and found the site of a guy named Don Davis who worked on the planetarium. I have always hoped there was some kind of recording or more permanent presentation made by these folks, so I shot Mr. Davis an e-mail to ask him if he knew of one. Mr. Davis was nice enough to respond in a very short time and let me know that unfortunately I was out of luck on that count. I thanked him anyway, and tried to let him know how much the work of their group meant to me.

I wish I could find something I could watch at home that would be as inspiring as that awesome show I saw in the desert, but I've found nothing. I've watched things like the IMAX movie Cosmic Voyage (which was kinda cool), but there isn't anything that matches up in my mind to Bok Globule. I guess my memory will have to do.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Employment looms; selling house seems distant...

Got some good news yesterday in that I will have a job come end of June. Yay me! I have grown weary of being broke.

However, the house has been on the market for a week and a half, and no one has even come look at it. I know in my head that I can't expect it to sell overnight, but I do want it to hurry up. We have an "Open House" tomorrow from 1pm to 4pm, so if you know somebody who wants to buy a house a little bit in the country, direct them here.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Test Drivin'

So, the other day I had my Durango at the dealership to get its regular service. It was going to be about an hour, so I cruised out to the showroom and was drooling over a Dodge Charger R/T. I started chatting with the sales manager, who was trying to get me to trade the Durango in on one. I told him that was not going to happen, but he said I could take it out for a test drive.

I swear, this car is made out of testosterone. It is the most unashamedly macho car I have ever driven. Five minutes driving this bad boy around, and I felt like Vic Mackey. I wanted to drive real fast, knock down some doors, rough up some gangbangers, and take their drug money. It was cool.

The Charger mixes old school muscle car raw power with modern amenities and something of a luxury car feel. It has much better handling than I expected from a car of its size and design.

Still, even if I had the $30k or so it would take to buy one, this isn't the car I would buy. It's nice, it's cool, but it's just not $30k worth. I wouldn't turn one down if somebody just wanted to give me one, though.